A Casey Serin Primer, April 2007

APRIL, 2007

Not 48 hours after begging his haterz and dancing like a little monkey for $220 to keep the CashCall wolves at bay, Casey Serin shows his appreciation by posting “I bought 1.3 million shares of GSPG on Friday via my corporation. Why not?” His idea of an April Fool’s joke shows just how thankful he is for the intervention that prevented CashCall from showing up at Yulia’s house to repossess his tech toys and Yulia’s furniture.

The Friday night beg-a-thon was not without its consequences, though. Salt Lake City mortgage lender Nigel Swaby, who had been just hours away from creating a business partnership with Casey and the IAFF blog backed out.

According to Casey Serin, Nigel Swaby was to partner with him to turn IAFF into some sort of foreclosure avoidance site. Nigel Swaby had previously taken the curious route of defending Casey Serin and his multiple felonies. But the circus atmosphere of the beg-a-thon proved that, while Nigel Swaby would defend Casey Serin’s crimes, he couldn’t stomach Casey taking money from the Haterz. Perhaps Nigel Swaby wanted Casey indebted to him and him alone?

Nigel Swaby’s own bizarre “don’t hate Casey” blog shifts its tone as well. While Nigel Swaby had billed it as a point of defense for Casey, where Casey’s supposed myriad supporters could have a forum (goodness...I couldn’t even type that without laughing), Nigel Swaby himself starts taking cracks at Casey. Nigel Swaby also tries to backtrack from his creepy hater ‘outings’ and tries to play nice with the ExUrb community.

As Nigel Swaby has shown in the past, he’s no master of predicting outcomes. The so-called haterz despise him even more for his smarmy attempts to garner their support. Nigel Swaby reveals himself to be an “any port in a storm” kind of guy, as his queer “don’t hate Casey” blog becomes an “alternate (sic) take” on Casey Serin.

Casey Serin comes back to tell us that he and wifey Galina are celebrating their third wedding anniversary. No doubt a part of their celebration was paid for by the haterz donations from the previous week’s beg-a-thon, which flipped even ardent supporters into critics. Casey points out that he and Galina Serin have taken a three-year roller coaster ride, together. I posit that they ain’t seen nuthin yet.

While he had been ignoring the critical pieces written about him in The Economist and the Scotsman Guide, Casey Serin’s inner attention-whore wins out, and he can’t help pointing out that two more press pieces had been written about him.

There is some cursory attention paid to keeping lines of communication open with his many, many lenders. But, typical Casey Serin, this fades out pretty quickly. In a saga that resembles an episode of Flipper Nation, Casey Serin drones on about “Will I Stop the Last Foreclosure Via Short Sale?”

To anyone with any functioning brain cells left, the answer is a resounding “No.” At this stage of the game, Casey Serin has lost four homes to foreclosure, largely due to inattention and lack of follow-through. Besides, what’s to be gained from a short-sale at this point?

These posts make the reader wonder, does Casey Serin post these types of things because he really believes this, or is this just a distraction to keep readers off of his personal life?

Casey Serin shifts into happy talk, noting that he’s going to be on the Suze Orman show. He wants his readers to comment on the advice that Suze Orman has given him, leaving out the information that the show was taped in January, and that he hasn’t followed a lick of her advice.

But readers are more frustrated with Suze Orman than Casey Serin. After all, we know Casey’s a lazy fuck with a complete lack of organization, skills, intellect, or follow-through. But Suze Orman bills herself as a tough-talking, real world financial advisor. People tuned in to the show to see if she would produce yet another fluff piece, or if she would reel in shock at horror at Casey Serin’s antics.

Proving that the staff of the Suze Orman show hasn’t really done their research on Casey Serin’s repeated criminality, the show falls short with yet another surface-level interview, this one peppered with disgustingly syrupy-sweet references to Casey Serin as “boyfriend.”

As if readers weren’t already inflamed enough, Casey Serin announces that he has indeed formed a new corporation. Knowing Casey Serin’s penchant for taking shortcuts, readers speculate that the new shell corp will serve one of the following purposes: shuffle his existing debt, provide him new lines of credit, work to acquire even more real estate.

But this is far from Casey Serin’s first registered enterprise. Simple searches turn up even more Casey Serin companies, and from there, readers find that Casey Serin is the registered agent forHammar Investments, Inc. and is using the old 3636 Auburn Blvd. address. If you remember, this is the property that traces back to Secure Tomorrow Asset Protection.

So yet another finger points toward Casey Serin--con artist, fraud, felon, “speculator”--and a senior citizen financial planning firm. Wonder who Casey Serin is promising 24% returns to these days?

Ironically, Casey’s next blog post points readers to Wired Magazine, and their cover story on business transparency, “Get Naked and Rule the World.” Delusional as always, Casey Serin actually compares himself to the trendy industry leaders discussed within the article. This in and of itself answers Casey’s question, “Why do you hate?”

Casey Serin then decides that “It’s time to write a foreclosure book!” Readers laugh openly, asking him what he could possibly contribute to the foreclosure resource world. The next day he takes a step back and says, basically, I see your point about how this book won’t have a point without a comeback. By the third day, he’s ditched the book idea, saying “I’m being too impulsive again!”

As I read this comment, I imagine Casey doing a modern-day version of “Of Mice and Men,” with Casey looking down at his housing/life bunny, muttering “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”

But Casey Serin is buoyed with yet another media appearance, this time on Nightline. While at first glance, the story seems like another fluff piece, Vicki Mabrey looks at Casey like he’s just dropped in from Mars as he dodges questions and offers his pat half-assed answers. As a fun aside, Alex’s website is shown in a lengthy screenshot during the segment.

Casey Serin’s next nugget of wisdom brings up yet another lazy “passive income” stream of consciousness. He wants to impress upon his readers the vast extent of his knowledge and history of success in wholesaling properties and assigning contracts. As he defines how a buyer can tie up a property under contract while he searches for a better offer, Casey Serin notes “Now that’s a TRUE no-money-down technique. (Well maybe $100 for an earnest money deposit or something, but what’s $100 nowadays?)”

Well, guy, considering you’re the same fucktard who hosted an online beg-a-thon for $220 bucks just two weeks previously, I don’t think you’re in any position to say such things.

Casey Serin’s “vast” experience in wholesaling comes from the fact that he has done this before...exactly once. He found a major POS property in North Carolina. Long, rambling story short, the woman wanted $10K, Casey got her down to $4k and sold the contract for $500. Scarily, Casey Serin notes, “As I formulate my comeback plan I may have to do some wholesaling but at a much bigger level. Wholesaling apartment complexes, commercial deals, luxury homes, mortgages/paper, etc.”


Casey goes back to whining about his critics, which he still insists on calling “haters.” (Hey Casey, remember the money that some soft-hearted “haters” gave you to keep CashCall away from Yulia’s door?)

He then remarks that he and Galina had some “urgent business” to attend to, namely, a shopping trip to IKEA. But all of the cymbal-banging to get CashCall and grocery money out of the haterz was all for naught. True to form, our lazy Casey Serin fucked up a free lunch yet again:

“Well, CashCall then sent me a contract that I was supposed to sign and return within 48 hours or the deal is off. I didn’t remember hearing anything about the 48 hour time frame. I did get the contract but I delayed sending it because we went out of town that Sunday for a week. After I come back I kind of forgot about the contract. Then I get a call from CashCall a couple of days again and they want their money. I was surprised so I told them I have a deal....They check the notes and they said the deal is off since I never returned the paperwork...It’s probably mostly my fault because I should have read that contract right away to see if there are any timeframes. My weakness in the area of logistics is getting me in trouble again.”

Since Tax Day is right around the corner, Casey Serin has his accountant file an extension. He’s convinced that he has less of a chance being audited if he files near the end of the year. As readers hold their sides laughing, Casey takes a turn for the introspective and petulant.

On the scary side, Casey Serin says “I’m very curious to see exactly where all the money went that we borrowed. Interesting, Casey…we’re all very curious about that. The petulant side comes out with “Also I can show everybody how little we spent on “frivolous” stuff, dining out, etc. That should silence the critics.” Yeah, Casey, that’ll learn ‘em.

Casey’s next reality check comes courtesy of the Sacramento County Vector Control, who are quite pissed that Casey Serin’s pool at his final remaining property has become a vibrant green sludge pond that is producing mosquitoes at an alarming rate. He whines that the property is 75 miles away and he doesn’t want to put any money into it, since it’s going into foreclosure anyway.

And this, my friends, is why people hate Casey Serin. Because his neighbors have to live next to that. Everyday, they have to drive past an overgrown front lawn and every night, they have to live with the incessant buzzing of potentially West Nile carrying mozzies. The pool at Casey Serin’s Muncy Drive property is, in fact, so green that it looks like a nuclear disposal site from space. They can’t sell their properties, because who’s going to pay market price for a house on that block, when the bank is offering one for a fraction of the price?

The disgusting condition of the house isn’t the only thing dragging down their property values. While people like Nigel Swaby spew utter crap about foreclosures having virtually no impact on their neighbors’ properties, hedonic price regression models show differently. In fact, each foreclosure up to a half-mile radius of a home will negatively impact from 0.9% to 1.44% of that home’s value.

In much the same fashion that Casey Serin has previously gone into “lender avoidance mode” and “reality avoidance mode,” he now goes into “haterz avoidance mode.” On 4-20, Casey Serin does us all a favor and takes a break from the internet. No doubt he’ll be back soon...the attention whore in him always wins out. And where else is Casey Serin going to find the sweet passive fame and fortune that he so desires?

Casey Serin Primer: September, 2006

Casey Serin Primer: October, 2006

Casey Serin Primer: November, 2006

Casey Serin Primer: December, 2006

Casey Serin Primer: January, 2007

Casey Serin Primer: February, 2007

Casey Serin Primer: March, 2007