4/23/2007

A Casey Serin Primer, February 2007

FEBRUARY, 2007

It’s a short month, but it doesn’t start well for Casey Serin when Duane LeGate informs Casey that he will no longer be a “sponsor” after Feb 15. Casey whines and blames the haterz, but a couple of months later, will admit that Duane walked out because Casey himself wasn’t living up to his obligations. Namely, Duane wanted him to have constant contact with his creditors, and Casey Serin just wasn’t willing to stay on top of it.

Since nothing is ever really Casey Serin’s fault (the Haterz are mostly to blame) he informs us of the results of a recent personality test he’s taken. He tells the world that the results confirm that he’s an Idea Man, not a details person. So we’re not supposed to get mad that he can’t finish the most basic task…it’s not in his nature!

Casey also admits that, in addition to being in pre-foreclosure on his properties, he has let the insurance lapse instead. This forces the lenders to, first discover this, then take out insurance themselves to protect their investments, further adding to the monies owed to them by one Casey Serin.

Casey Serin hits the media circuit yet again, this time appearing in the Sacramento Bee and New York Magazine. Both do a shite job of really ‘covering’ Casey’s story, proving that research in Old Media is dead and gone. Casey Serin’s critics can’t believe that nearly everyone who goes near the Casey story seem incapable of doing even rudimentary research before phoning in their fluff pieces.

The universe is not without irony, though, and Casey discovers a homeless guy squatting on his Burdett property. Readers point out that, since he hasn’t paid the mortgage in so long, Burdett is far from “his” property.

Since Casey closed his checking account in order to prevent Wells Fargo or other creditors from auto-drafting from his account (like when poor Casey Serin was the victim when “Wells Fargo Stole” $1,000 from him). This means he is now in arrears to the super-scary CashCall.

Casey manages to eke out some money from yet another real estate entity, who want to buy his redemption rights for the New Mexico property. As that property is scheduled for a foreclosure sale, it snows in NM and delays the sale. Casey Serin, being Casey Serin, celebrates by cashing the cheque for redemption rights, buying a Jamba Juice, and a bunch of white trash Valentine’s Day crap for Galina.

Ironically, the snow gave Casey the opportunity to prevent foreclosure. Again, in typical Casey Serin fashion, he pooch screws any possibility of fixing the problem. According to Casey, he “was too busy making connections and identifying opportunities today and didn’t get a chance to check up on the NM foreclosure or send the short sale packet. Will attempt again tomorrow. I get bogged down by a lot of these small details sometimes.”

Yeah...foreclosure avoidance on multiple properties can easily take second place to fucking off.

By now, the haterz are screaming at Casey to get a job, take some responsibility, do anything. Many are starting to call for his head, including but not limited to doing a stint in federal prison.

In the midst of this cacophony, Salt Lake City mortgage lender again jumps into the situation. According to Nigel Swaby, he has run Casey’s scenario past a friend of his who is a super-secret government agent (Go go Gadget arms!)

Nigel Swaby, a mortgage lender of all things, says that Casey Serin’s admitted crimes are, at $2.2 million in fraudulent loans and close to $200,000 in unsecured debt, too small to prosecute. Readers wonder if any banks out there are happy to be doing business with Nigel Swaby. Casey celebrates this supposed ‘win’ with the petulant post “Why Should I Go to Jail for Mortgage Fraud?”

Asswipe.

Casey Serin, assuming the coast is clear for him (you know, because Nigel said so) continues to explore establishing a shell corp. Mind you, Casey claims to have no money at this point, so see if you can read this without your head exploding:

“I met with two corporate attorneys at a highly respected (and very expensive) law firm today. I ran my idea of borrowing money via my corporation and using the capital for future deals, as well as, borrowing from the corporation to refinance/settle my existing debt.”

Then Casey does some kind of jerky white-boy hip-hop dance because, he says, he’s getting foreclosure fan mail.

By the end of the month, the house on Larchmont goes into a full-blown trustee sale. Casey goes to the courthouse in Sacramento, and bizarrely reports on his own foreclosure: “A cold rainy day at the courthouse steps in downtown Sacramento. The gloominess is a perfect setup for the foreclosure auction of my Larchmont house. At the same time there was a nice freshness in the air and I felt a little bit of excitement/anticipation.”

The excitement and anticipation seem like incredibly misplaced emotions. But Casey Serin believes himself to be bulletproof, remember? But all of this foreclosure talk brings up a very interesting point. Perhaps the Housing Panic blog says it best... Casey Serin loses another one to foreclosure. Where's the cash?

Casey Serin Primer: September, 2006

Casey Serin Primer: October, 2006

Casey Serin Primer: November, 2006

Casey Serin Primer: December, 2006

Casey Serin Primer: January, 2007

Casey Serin Primer: February, 2007

Casey Serin Primer: March, 2007

Casey Serin Primer: April, 2007

3 comments:

Schnapps said...

Then Casey does some kind of jerky white-boy hip-hop dance because, he says, he’s getting foreclosure fan mail.

Heheheheh :) And you should know, I'm quite the beast early in the morning, and making me laugh is quite the feat :>

Aspeth said...

Heehee...sorry, Schnapps, not sure how I missed your comment, which made me laugh too. Glad I could start you off with a smile!

Anonymous said...

You left out one of my favorite parts of the "homeless dude" saga. When Serin told the squatter that the property would soon be sold, the squatter packed up and left, but not before mowing and watering the lawn. The "homeless dude" performed more maintenance on that house than Serin had on any of his properties.