Jackass of the Week Award - The City of Hot Springs, Arkansas

Bumbling Barney Fife wasn't allowed to put bullets in his gun when he patrolled the streets of Mayberry. It was a given that he was a hazard to public safety. This was a funny repeated theme in the tv series, with the Don Knotts character running around doing crazy slapstick.

But in real life, many police officers exhibit that they do not have the judgement to carry an loaded weapon in public. Now don't get me wrong. This is not a cop-bashing post. But it is a post to question where we draw the line. What should be done when an officer exhibits behavior that indicates he or she does not have the necessary judgement to wear a badge?

Incidents of excessive force occur everyday in the United States. And every once in a while, those incidents are captured on film for the world to see and judge. Just such a thing happened on June 21, the day now known as "Go Skateboarding Day." This day was created by skateboard advocates, and has been formally instituted by the U.S. Congress.

But in Hot Springs, Arkansas the day didn't go so well. A group of skaters was stopped by a local police officer, who put one of the young men to the ground and held him there by his throat. This image was captured on one of the skaters' cell phones, and two other kids quickly turned on their video cameras.

For those who haven't noticed, the video camera has been a ubiquitous tool in a skater's life since the devices were first available on the shelves of electronics stores. It's always good to have a record of yourself pulling an insane trick that you might not ever again duplicate, film your friends eating pavement as they try to outdo you, and maybe, just maybe, you might eventually get noticed and sponsored.

In this case, the students filmed a disgusting case of a local cop using bizarrely excessive force on this group of kids. The point of contention here seems to be that the officer was trying to stop, or even cite, the kids for skateboarding in a place that wasn't zoned for it. But it ended with police officer Joey Williams grabbing no fewer than three kids by their necks, some of them as young as 13.

The kids' videos were, of course, immediately posted to YouTube. It's not the Rodney King beating by any stretch, but take a look and judge for yourself if this should fall into either category of "excessive force" or "police brutality."

The first thing that struck me is the sheer size difference between this cop and the kids. The second, and the thing that has everyone up at arms, is his putting a 13-year old girl in a headlock, particularly when she looks like she weighs about 80 pounds. Officer Joey Williams has to be at least three times her weight.

AP articles say that the choke hold on the girl actually lifted her feet off the ground. That's obviously some really good police work in action. I also noticed that when Officer Joey Williams had the two kids in a headlock, there was another police officer standing next to him, who obviously didn't feel that the situation warranted his stepping in, as he stands to the side, looking like he doesn't want any part of this.

With nearly a million page views as of this writing, the YouTube video is getting a lot of air time. On the noticed and sponsored
Reason http://reason.com/blog/show/121095.html
blog, participants had some insightful comments from citizens across the United States and abroad. Some of my favorites:

"...you do blame the cop, for a wildly disproportionate response to the situation. He probably walked by three dozen violations of nitpicky city ordinances before he decided choking a 13-year-old was a good idea."

"So cops are allowed to choke minors who violate a city ordinance? No one in the video was "resisting arrest" -- that little girl surely wasn't. Just because someone may be violating a fucking ordinance doesn't give cops the right to rought them up. Also, isn't violation of a city ordinance usually punishable by fine, not arrest?"

"And nothing in the video indicates that the girl was under arrest when she decided to run....So he put a teenage girl in a headlock without cause.... I think that's over the line."

"I love the "resisting arrest" line thrown in there. As Americans is it not our right and duty to resist unlawful arrest?"

In response to the widespread attention that the video has gotten Mayor Mike Bush told the Associated Press that "Unfortunately, the video shows it pretty good....Bush called Williams "one of 100 best and finest we've got" in the city's police department."

Here's the only really funny part of this story, and one I haven't seen noted anywhere else. Consider Mayor Bush's statement, then read this statement taken verbatim from the Hot Springs website:

"The 99-officer Police Department provides basic police services in addition to various other special community programs such as Drug Awareness, Neighborhood Watch, Personal Safety, Housewatch, and Home/Business Security Analysis."

On the same website, there is a special section called the Mayor's Youth Council. Not surprisingly, no results were found for the search of "police choking."

Officer Joey Williams has been placed on administrative leave (which, if you ask me, is a euphemism for paid vacation) while higher powers investigate the incident. But what more can be said after watching the video? Why should this officer continue to have power, authority, and lethal weapons on the streets of America?

If the way this officer handled the situation is ultimately deemed appropriate, does that give me the right to make a citizen's arrest when someone mouths off? Because by Officer Jackboot McOverreact's standards, this would be disturbing the peace. Can I then throw that individual in a headlock, or push him to the ground and hold him by his neck in the name of persuing said citizen's arrest?

Of course, I'm a "civilian," which is police-speak for "the law applies to you and not me." I thought it would be interesting to see what other officers were saying about this incident, and when I came across some of their comments, my stomach turned.

It's unfortunate that these comments will likely reinforce many people's views that police are corrupt, uneducated, and abuse their powers ad infinitum. These comments are not meant to reflect the feelings or opinions of all police officers on the topic. But out of the hundreds of statements I read, I found exactly two officer comments that were flatly critical of Joey Williams:

"azcop2...Leaving a handcuffed suspect behind while you chase another one? Trying to take TWO kids into custody simultaneously (and looking like a fool in the process? Forget the punks, this cop is in serious need of officer safety re-trainig AND temper control."

"emore66...I dont know...Officer looked foolish...I think you have to pick your battles kids riding skateboards on sidewalk not sure it is worth it...I guess what town you work for dictates..."

Other officers did not give their whole-hearted support for Joey Williams, but their dissent fell largely into the "procedural" category:

"JP1...Even after watching a video that the kids "edited", my comment is that they deserved everything they got. Had this happened with one of my officers when I was Chief, I'd of had some serious talks with parents. (However, I would not have left a handcuffed kid on the sidewalk while I chased off another one. We would have found out who he was and got him later.)"

"lupd...looks like the punks needed more than what they got...that said there were some tactical errors on the officers part, but nothing that would be considered police brutality."

"cpd6a2...completely baited! Piece of crap kids need a major spanking. It was nothing but a big joke for them. Officer never should have left a handcuffed kid on the ground by himself to chase after another. Get help and then deal with the rest."

"DetSgt31...Write the kids' tickets for skateboarding, pull the parents in for raising such brats. The problem lies with the parents also, hold them directly responsible. Maybe a trip to the woodshed for Mom and Dad will get them thinking."

"orchevycop...Wow, skateboarding must be an arrestable offense there. Officer might be in the right, but he need some more training in verbal encounters."

Unfortunately, the vast majority of police officer comments read more like these. In considering the tone and intent of these comments, I think that cities and counties across the nation should begin to seriously consider regular and repeated psychological profiles of their officers.

I don't mean that in a humorous tone whatsoever. The reality is that if cops are thinking this way about their jobs and their concepts of what falls into that category is so incredibly broad-based and out of line, we really need some monitoring in place before we send these people out into the streets to utilize their so-called judgement, while heavily armed, in split-second scenarios.

Again, you may judge for yourself. (A sidenote: between the Mayor of Hot Springs and these officer comments, my overriding sense at this point is that it's a story fraught with poor grammar.)

"cross_rifles: Got to do what ya got to do!"

"OHDEP76...All they had to do was comply in an orderly manner and the situation would never have escalated. The officers may have been on the aggressive side, but within reasonable force for sure."

"88pdx...One easy word to learn: COMPLY!"

"pcpc601...hey turd, ya know what failure to comply is?!? if ya didn't, now you do..."

By far the worst comments, in my opinion, are the ones that advocate "ass kickings" to compensate for what they perceive as poor parenting:

"jcarnes718...I didn't see anything wrong on the Officers part. These teenagers think they can do whatever they want to whom ever. I think an ass whipping needs to be handed down to these punks."

"Bears:...When the parent fails the Police step in to do what is needed."

"Bodie: Nothin' Wrong Here...Nothing wrong here that I see. Kids gotta grow up and take an ass kickin' sometime if parents ain't doin' it it's up to the police. It's the parents tax dollars at work."

I have to say that I find these statements to be chilling. It's easy to chalk this kind of bravado up to officer banter, but the real concern is that these people really think that their job is not to protect and serve; not to keep the peace; not to enforce laws; they're saying that it is their job to kick someone's ass to catalyze certain behaviors.

In watching this video, it seems that Officer Joey Williams falls into this category. This outrageous abuse of power didn't stem from enforcing laws or getting dangerous thugs off the street. It was driven purely from Joey Williams' own ego. He didn't like that the kids questioned his authority and he was going to show them that he was da man.

Because this out of control police officer has not been fired, or heaven forbid, at least suspended without pay, the City of Hot Springs, Arkansas hereby wins the Jackass of the Week Award.

Cross a Cheerleader, Fear Your World

Hell hath no fury like a cheerleader whose pom-poms have been knotted and sullied. Such is the case with Casey Serin's former cheerleaders, who have turned against him with more venom and vigor than any so-called "hater" could ever muster.

First, there were Nigel Swaby's attempts to slough off Casey Serin and make nice with the critics, who saw through his antics as just another attempt to whore for attention and drive traffic to his multiple blog drivel. He straddled the fence between the two camps, eventually switching back to Team Casey, only to recently be publicly disparaged by the Boy Wonder.

Things were quiet along the western front, until a strong wind blew in from the south. Duane LeGate was the next to go public, refuting Casey Serin's troll on the "I Am Facing Foreclosure" site that he was (pout) thinking about shutting down the blog.

Duane offered a great deal of insight into his role with Casey--and what he demanded in return. One of the few strangers to approach Casey Serin without an outstanding agenda of his own, Duane LeGate demanded that Casey start to live up to his adult responsibilities. When Casey continued his dance of deceiving and ignorning, Duane decided to go public.

Casey Serin's brother, Steve Serin, popped up next in a Friday Night Fraudcast. Like Duane LeGate, the guy was obviously trying to rattle his older brother in an attempt to have Casey Serin realize just how desperate his life had really become.

LossMitPro (Mark Villasenor in the real world) started to dance on the dark side after Casey Serin went into supporterz-ignore mode with him. As his moniker suggests, this loss mitigation specialist was working with Casey to get the half-million or so in outstanding payments down to manageable nuggets.

Like all who came before him, Casey Serin fucked this supporter as well. And apparently the new affiliation with Marty Stewart and his vague threats of lawsuits, DMCA complaints, et al, have sent Mark Villasenor into seizures of glee.

Because Mark Villasenor has always seemed to want to have a good fight with someone. And the Marty Stewart-Casey Serin posturing provided him with a great opportunity to flex some legal muscle.

Mr. Villasenor fired off an "I dare you" letter to Casey Serin and Marty Stewart. In essence, it's a response to the copyright claim that the dynamic dumbasses are making in regard to Casey Serin's "brain dump" recordings. Mark Villasenor counters that they are in fact evidence of Casey Serin's multiple crimes, and because of that cannot be copyrighted.

Giving both Casey Serin and Marty Stewart the big middle finger, Mark reposted the recordings for "public inspection." It had been theorized that "LossMitPro" was working, not for Casey Serin, but for his lenders, to ensure that Sercasey did indeed pay his debts. The message on Mark's company website confuses that theory.

What Mark Villasenor has said is that he's chomping at the bit for Casey Serin, Marty Stewart or the combination to sue him. He even says that if they don't sue him that he may initiate a case himself.

While this sounds, and perhaps is, a bit fucking crazy, it seems that Mr. LossMitPro is calling what appears to be a huge bluff. Casey Serin has too much to hide, and sitting through depositions would not only require him to travel back to California from his little hideout in Australia, it would force him to reveal, under oath, the details of all the shady dealings he's been doing for the past year and a half. Perhaps longer.

It's an incredibly interesting twist in the Casey Serin saga. And it will be crazy to see it all play out. Certainly, Marty Stewart may have lost some of his plucky backtalk as the week ends.

While I have no first-hand knowledge, I've heard it said over the past year that if you save the cheerleader, you save the world. I don't know if this is true or not, but one thing long-time "haterz" do know--it really is harder than it looks to keep a cheerleader on Team Casey Serin.

Jackass of the Week Award

With Casey Serin hogging so much of the "public jackass" spotlight, it's often difficult to find someone who deserves the award more than him.

But as I was traveling last week, I was knocked in the head by the story of Dean Hancock, whose sense of entitlement gives Casey Serin a hard run for his borrowed money.

Dean's son Josh Hancock was, until recently, a relief pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals. His five-year professional career ended at the age of 29, when Josh was killed in a drunk driving accident.

The details of Josh Hancock's death reveal that he did, literally, everything wrong. He was driving down a highway doing 68 in a 55 mph zone; blood-alcohol level twice the legal limit for Missouri; talking on a cell phone; not wearing a seatbelt; marijuana and a glass pipe were found in the car.

Unfortunately, he was driving down a stretch of road where a disabled motorist had called for a tow truck. Josh Hancock died when he slammed into the back of the tow truck, and investigators say there were no skid marks to indicate that he ever even hit the brakes to avoid the collision.

It's a sad and certainly untimely death. So why would his grieving father receive an Jackass of the Week Award?

Because Dean Hancock has taken the unthinkable step of initiating a lawsuit against every party involved in the accident caused by his son. He is suing the restaurant where his son ate and drank before the accident, the restaurant's manager; suing the tow-truck company and its driver; and even suing the driver of the Geo Metro that had the audacity to break down on the side of the road!

Restaurant manager Patricia Shannon Van Matre (who is the daughter of former Cardinal and restaurant owner Mike Shannon) has said in numerous publications that Hancock was offered a cab, but he told her that he was walking to the Westin hotel three blocks away.

Whether or not this is true, only these two will ever know for certain. But to place blame for a grown person's actions at the hands of a restaurant manager is beyond the pale. A 29-year old man knows when he's had too much to drink. And those who think that either his bartender or the restaurant manager should have intervened has never been in such a situation--particularly with a pampered sports personality who is surrounded by people who support his every whim.

It is interesting to note that, at the time of his death, Josh Hancock was driving a rented SUV. This is notable because the rental was a replacement for his personal SUV, which was being repaired from an accident that Hancock caused just three days prior, when he was clipped by a tractor-trailer at 5:30 a.m., tearing off his car's front bumper.

In that accident, Hancock was in Sauget, Illinois, just across the river from the city of St. Louis, Missouri. Sauget is adjacent to the crime capital of East St. Louis, Illinois and both towns share a reputation for their strip clubs, gambling and bars that serve until 5 a.m.

In other words, the only reason why a St. Louis, Missouri resident (particularly a white, affluent one) is leaving Sauget at 5:30 in the morning is because he's had a long night of hard drinking.

That particular morning, Josh Hancock almost killed himself when he nudged his SUV out into oncoming traffic to make a left-hand turn. His car was clipped by an oncoming tractor-trailer that was traveling at an estimated speed of 45-50 miles per hour.

While police were called to the scene, no citations were given. Was this because the officer gave the well-known baseball player preferential treatment? Because Sauget's only reliable income stream comes from bar and club-goers and police in that area tend to look the other way in these types of situations? Or because a trained police officer could not spot signs of inebriation in Josh Hancock, in which case, how could anyone expect a restaurant manager to do the same?

What is known is that Hancock was to pitch in a Cardinals game later that afternoon, but appeared to the stadium late and hungover. So if Dean Hancock is so interested in making the rest of the world responsible for his grown son's behavior, why not also sue the City of Sauget, its police force, and the officer who had the opportunity to intervene and take the baseball player's license, but failed to do so?

In that same vein of logic, why shouldn't the Cardinals and/or Major League Baseball sue Dean Hancock and his family for failing to intervene in this time-bomb's life? After all, they lost a pitcher in whom they have invested a lot of time, money, and training, only to lose him as the season starts.

The handwriting was on the wall, Dean. Your son came to the Cardinals after he was dropped by the Cincinnati Reds for violating a weight clause in his contract. Since this is a common side effect of heavy drinking, do you want to sue the Reds for perhaps acknowledging that your son was a drunk, but didn't want to bring public attention to the fact?

No, instead you're suing some guy from Collinsville who just so happened to have his car break down the night your son was so fucked up on booze and pot that he never even hit the brakes for a huge-ass flatbed tow truck. Hundreds of other, most likely sober, drivers managed to avoid the tow truck that night, but your son barreled into it like it wasn't even there.

And if that 26,000 pound truck hadn't been there, your son would have killed an innocent motorist as he sat in his disabled Geo Metro. But you want some sort of handout because, by some chance of science, your sperm met an egg and the product could throw a baseball, and now your family's trickle-down economics have come to a halt and you want folks with jobs and families and lives to pay you.

Dean Hancock's lawsuits represent the most odious sense of entitlement we've seen in the past couple of years. Not only should the defendants in this case refuse to capitulate to any settlement, this man should be ashamed to show his face in public.

Saving the Heathens or More Christian Hypocracy?

When the fundies go after a new target audience, I tend to arch an eyebrow with suspicion. Much of my cynicism comes from seeing first-hand so much of the "good" work done by missionaries in foreign countries.

Now don't get me wrong...if you feel a calling to pack up your life and go to a region of the world where people are suffering and starving and you work your ass off to plant fields, dig wells and raise livestock, that's magnanimous by any definition.

If, in this process, you bolster your own spirit by praying and reading scripture, then that's fine as well. But when you decide that providing succor to the suffering is contingent upon their accepting your faith and worshiping alongside you, you're crossing an indelible moral line.

The resurgence of right-wing Christianity in America is probably best defined by the old question "how do you boil a frog?" You don't throw it into a boiling pot; instead, you put it in temperate water and turn up the heat until it's cooked.

Christianity has been inserted into previously uncharted territory, becoming highly visible in the fringe. There has been a rise in Alt-Christian music, Christian surfers, and skateboarders. (Personally, it always gives me a jolt when I come across a random surfer who wants to strike up a conversation about his relationship with Jesus Christ as I'm peeling off my wetsuit.)

Now the fundies are getting into porn. Oh, don't get me wrong...they've been watching it, ahem, religiously, for years. In fact, the Pat Robertson media outlet CBN reports that "a survey of men at a Promise Keepers rally showed half had looked at porn in the week just before the rally." Meanwhile, Christianity Today magazine found 37 percent of pastors admit to struggling with pornography.

Enter the XXX Church. The ministry's website opens with a hot pink page with a picture of porn king Ron Jeremy hoisting a cigar. The schtick here is that "porn pastor" Craig Gross, himself the embodiment of a Tim Burton character, tours the country with Jeremy, publicly debating pornography.

Meanwhile, Gross's church aims to save the porn industry from itself, setting up booths at trade shows in order to pass out New Testament Bibles emblazoned with "Jesus loves porn stars" to the wicked and sinful of the industry.

Under the umbrella of what seems to be a multimedia marketing firm called Fireproof Ministries, XXX Church places a high importance on getting so-called porn stars out of the industry. Their Save a Ho Ester campaign lays out the following requirements in return for salvation. Among them:

"Local church involvement; Willing to be accountable to leaders of local church and individuals within the ministry; Stop receiving funds, royalties, gifts, or previous royalties from prior industry work; Fill out monthly accountability report detailing finances, relationships, etc; Willing to not live with anyone of the opposite sex unless married; Cannot take any job in modeling or sex industry."

In return, there are vague promises to "exhaust all resources" to assist with things like schooling, counseling, legal, and living expenses. On that front, Fireproof Ministries tells those hopping off the porn train that "We will send up to $500 at the beginning of the month for the first 12 months providing all obligations have been met from the previous month."

Um, okay.

Not surprisingly, in its some five years of existence, XXX Church hasn't "saved" too many porn queens. According to most published reports, the industry and its members tend to ignore the church, regarding it as a fly in the KY, so to speak. Some have befriended the group, not necessarily agreeing with their message, but supporting their right to promulgate it.

In one case, a director who spoke with them at a porn convention said, "Oh, I get it. You guys are like Jesus walking with the lepers." He was impressed with their approach, and he offered to shoot a commercial for them at his own expense.

Christians have always loved the stories of Jesus washing the feet of prostitutes. But in this case, XXX Church's biggest detractors are other Christians and churches.

"XXXchurch.com features a page full of hate mail-most of it from Christians who find their tactics too extreme. But Gross and Foster are unfazed-and point out that 16 percent of those who visit the site find it while surfing for porn."


Do As I Say, Not As I Do?

As some fundies consider the church to be "Porn's Worst Nightmare," I can't help but wonder why they are looking outside of their own rank and file. They've obviously got a healthy population of their own who are watching adult fare throughout the week, then reporting for zealot duty on the Sabbath.

With Promise Keepers and ministers cruising x-rated materials, and folks stumbling across the main website (the tagline of which is "The #1 Christian Porn Site!") while looking for gangbang flicks, why put so many resources into the porn industry?

The reality is that Fireproof Ministries recognizes that it could be a player in providing Christian-based marketing and advertising to similarly minded groups. Their 2007 mission plan notes that they're making themselves available for lucrative advertising contracts, and have created a boutique marketing/graphic design component and record label.

In order to drive this over the top, they desperately need their own Mary Magdalene.

The porn star outreach has only succeeded in passing out bibles at conventions. Paying consulting fees to Ron Jeremy to debate porn in various venues provides them an insider to the industry. But no one is stepping forward to claim their salvation thanks to XXX Church.

Consider the case of the commercial-shooting porn director. "When asked if the pastors were getting through to him, DiGiorgio replied, "I'm sure that you and your viewers would love to have me say 'yes.' But unfortunately, 'no. I feel the faith that they have, okay, if you will, I sense that about them. I can feel it. It's a real thing. It's almost a tangible thing. Has it become contagious to me? I have to answer 'no.'"

The most obvious testimonial is blatantly absent: That from twenty-something founder Craig Gross. Gross's bio for his book Questions You Can't Ask Your Mama About Sex says simply that he is married with two children.

So where does his take on porn come from? One would think that, in order to speak intelligently about the topic, he would have had to have engaged in some "research viewing," but no mention is ever made. Is Craig Gross just an average twenty-something guy obsessed with sex? Why the adamant stance that porn hurts marriage?

Gross's single greatest take on porn is the way the industry treats its women. "There's no respect. To think that these are somebody's daughters. My pastor from my old church, Brian, is here with us. He says that these women are treated like dogs," says Gross.

Craig Gross's fellow Porn Pastor agrees with this hearsay. "Just look around. Look at the devices and the machines -- machines that are designed to do certain things to women. Yeah, it's degrading. There's no doubt about it."

And yet, millions of women (and their doctors) historically disagree.

In short, the whole premise of the church is based around casual observations, extrapolating the most generalized conclusions that spring to mind. But a lack of factual research has never stopped anyone from becoming a well-known evangelical preacher.

Nor will it stop Craig Gross and his porn crew, who are looking to expand their ministry into such desirable marketing demographics as college campuses, the X Games, WWE Professional Wrestling, and a highly coveted slot on the Vans Warped Tour.

Perhaps other church's biggest problem with XXX Church isn't that they choose to associate with the porn industry.

Maybe it's that the church requests hefty financial and in-kind donations from the faith community to bolster its for-profit branches such as its marketing firm and record label, even selling $500 "porn packages" to churches across the country. (Their goal of finding 200 churches to buy the packages means a tidy $100,000 to the church.)

Meanwhile, those same churches are home to members with a variety of very real needs. Those everyday folks aren't porn stars, and they won't further the XXX Church goals' of penetrating desirable commercial demographics, so they're left to their own devices while a twenty-something Porn Pastor pushes his agenda in front of a bank of cameras.

Lost Sale

JANESVILLE, Wis. - This real estate agent will likely do a house check before letting her prospective customers tour on their own from now on, after a couple happened upon a homeowner dead in bed.

Linda Chabucos-Galow, a real estate agent with Shorewest, stood in the dining room while Justin and Colleen McKeen walked through a house Monday night.

Before long, she heard Colleen scream as the couple stood at the doorway.

"I thought, 'What's wrong?' Maybe it was a dead mouse or something," Chabucos-Galow said.

But then she peered into the bedroom and saw the body of Linda L. O'Leary, 55, the owner of the home. She had been dead for about two weeks, officials say.

"It looked like a Halloween prop," Chabucos-Galow said.

The uncovered body was wearing dark shorts. Chabucos-Galow said her legs were wrapped in material that appeared similar to cheesecloth or support hose.

"If we spent five minutes in there, I'd be stretching it," Chabucos-Galow said.

She said she then told the couple: "'We need to leave. This is not right. We need to get out of here.'"

Gale Kent, the Coldwell Banker First United Realty agent who listed the house, said the property was for sale "for a while," but wouldn't say how many times it had been shown in recent weeks.

From Yahoo! News

Whackaloonery or Wave of the Future?

On any given day, there are perhaps two dozen daily and weekly papers that cross my desk. What this ultimately serves to do is reinforce my worldview that people are strange.

The area where this is typically most evident is in different technological developments. Of course, this comes from the fact that, in creating new technologies, shooting the moon can result in either public ridicule or serious jumbo juice.

One such article leaped to the forefront of my consciousness as the nuttiest idea of the week--the result of what two guys can create when they ponder the age-old question, "How to combine scuba diving with death?"

The two had previously developed a new artificial reef technology. By designing cast-concrete structures that would be sunk to the ocean bed, they found that sea life would inhabit the artificial reefs within months.

Great idea. Terrific technology. But here's where it gets weird. The two started mixing the cremated remains of humans into their concrete structures before sinking them into the sea, thereby creating a company they call "Eternal Reefs".


CEO George Frankel says that this resolves the conflict between the deceased who want their ashes spread at sea, versus families who don't want to dump the loved one into the drink. He says they create a "particular place where thier family can visit." Particular, indeed.

Today, there are about 700 people who have been sunk to the ocean floor to become a playground for the fishies. Should you or a loved one like to be number 701, here's how it works:

The company will send you a map of locations for its reef ball placement and you pick a site. They then take the cremated remains and mix them with marine-grade concrete. If you like, friends and family can impress handprints into the concrete as it cures.

Brass rubbings can be attached to the reef ball if you like. Then, the ball is available for a memorial viewing. Next step is out to the boat, where CEO Frankel reads JFK's speech "To the Sea" as the reef ball is dropped into the ocean.

The interesting technology involved is that the reef is designed to last for over 500 years, and withstand pressure up to 10,000 pounds per square inch. I'm not entirely sure why that's important, particularly after someone has been cremated, but it's a nifty stat, nonetheless.

Prices for Eternal Reefs range from $995 to the deluxe package at $6,495. Services range from the casting itself to transporting it to the site, bronze plaque(s) and inscription(s), final placement and dedication, a GPS survey that records the exact latitude and longitude of the reef, and two memorial certificates.

Right now, Eternal Reefs is only licensed to imbed reefs on the east coast of the United States, and they report that the most frequently requested final resting places are off the coasts of Sarasota, Fort Lauderdale and Miami, Florida. If all progresses according to plans, they will expand to the west coast in the future.

Just to cover every possible scenario, the duo reports that they offer military honors, as well as pet burials. If you like, they will withhold a bit of your ashes (if you die first) to later mix with your partner's ashes in their reef ball.

I don't know...it all sounds pretty wacky to me. But I imagine that this is precisely what appeals to folks who want to do something like this. As you can see, Eternal Reefs customers seem to have a sense of humor.

Oh, Casey

First, I'd like to congratulate Alex at The Real Estate Forum for making an appearance on the Casey Serin Nightline segment. The website was shown with the headline "Why Lenders Need to Know the Name Casey Serin" as a part of the background story. Congratulations on making an appearance on national news! What a very cool nod to have under your belt!

I feel a certain vicarious thrill from this, as Alex and I traded segments on the Casey Serin story for a few days. Strangely, that site received quite a number of hateful and threatening comments when that story was posted. I know from our emails that it was way beyond anything I've seen over here.

I didn't see any such 'backlash' on my site, and felt pretty bad for involving another blogger in a sort of meme that brought that kind of lunacy. So I really have to say that the screenshot on Nightline restored a balance of sorts. Congratulations, again!



It seems that Friday's revelation about Casey Serin's dirty little paper trail has tongues around the country wagging. R-boy has unearthed some old Serin family court cases, and it doesn't look like they're related to Lady Liberty opening her arms and accepting this shady clan to join the nation.

I'm glad I could give some junior detectives something fun to unearth over the weekend. It will be interesting to see what the blogosphere discovers from this point. It's interesting to think about what people can find in public records....versus what one can find with a subpoena.

More Casey Serin Companies

The blogosphere is in an uproar over Casey Serin's announcement that he has established a new "shell corporation" to further evade his debtors and law enforcement.

In short, the same asshole who was claiming insolvency just a couple of weeks ago, and begging his readers for $220 dollars to keep the CashCall wolves at bay, supposedly paid off a $4,500 loan that was given to him to establish a new shady entity in the business world.

So it seemed like a good time to delve a little deeper into the little huckster's background. Indeed, Casey Serin has a long history of establishing companies. Sacramento County alone shows five listings for Casey Serin DBA's, dating back eight years.

In order of their dates of origin, they are:


SERIN VENDING
Filing Number: 9908416
Filing Date: 10/28/1999
Expiration Date: 10/28/2004
Ownership Type: Individual
Status: Expired
Number of Business Names on this filing: 1
Business Name(s):
SERIN VENDING
Number of Owners on this filing: 1


SERIN SITES
Filing Number: 0009067
Filing Date: 11/13/2000
Expiration Date: 11/13/2005
Ownership Type: Individual
Status: Expired
Number of Business Names on this filing: 2
Business Name(s):
SERIN SITES
SERINSITES.COM
Number of Owners on this filing: 1


GOSITE!
Filing Number: 0104276
Filing Date: 05/24/2001
Expiration Date: 05/24/2006
Ownership Type: Individual
Status: Expired
Number of Business Names on this filing: 1
Business Name(s):
GOSITE!
Number of Owners on this filing: 1


GOSITENOW
Filing Number: 0105635
Filing Date: 07/12/2001
Expiration Date: 07/12/2006
Ownership Type: Individual Status: Expired
Number of Business Names on this filing: 2
Business Name(s):
GOSITENOW
GOSITENOW.COM
Number of Owners on this filing: 1


SWEETHOST
Filing Number: 0305017
Filing Date: 05/15/2003
Expiration Date: 05/15/2008
Ownership Type: Individual Status: Active
Number of Business Names on this filing: 2
Business Name(s):
SWEETHOST
PHUN CLUB
Number of Owners on this filing: 1


Now, if you take into account the fact that Casey Serin was born in September of 1982, he wouldn't have been 18 until 2000. So who registered the first DBA, Serin Vending, under the name Casey Serin? I can't imagine why the State of California would allow a minor to register a corporation...in which case are the Serin Family members a bit more inbred than we originally thought and trade one another's identities with impugnity?

Note that the final DBA, "Sweethost" is an ACTIVE license. I can't help but wonder what the little fucktard is up to with that...

The Casey Serin Project

I was incredibly moved by a posting at ExUrbanNation a couple of days ago. A poster wrote to say that he had called law enforcement to point out Casey Serin's blatent fraud blog.

He was compelled to make this call, he said, because he is a real estate agent. He had recently been working with some clients who worked their asses off and barely qualified for a mortgage. By the time they found a house in their price range, that mortgage was no longer available to them.

In a moment that should give all of us pause, the client looked at the agent and said, "What about that guy in California who bought eight houses with no money down?" Well, what about him, indeed?

Many of us have been speculating that the subprime mortgage 'crisis' will soon be fought in the halls of Congress, where ill-informed legislators will enact regulations akin to Sarbanex-Oxley in the wake of Enron.

The fear is that thousands of mortgage fraudsters like Casey and Galina Serin will fall under this umbrella, granting a form of financial amnesty to willfully fraudulent borrowers, lenders, and brokers.

We've already heard the opening shot from Senators cum Presidential candidates Chris Dodd and Hillary Clinton. Now, Chuck Schumer and Jesse Jackson have joined the mix.

Right now, these folks' have louder voices than those of us who have been watching a different sideshow at the same circus. But they're not hearing from us. They're reading biased articles about "predatory lending" and "Casey Serin as Victim" in nationally-syndicated news outlets.

The time has come for rational voices to enter the debate. With that in mind, I'd like to start "The Casey Serin Project" to highlight the frauds, phonies, and felons that the high-profile mouthpieces don't seem to be hearing about.

We'll be using the power of user-generated media to draw attention to this situation like no glossy ads or television commercials ever could. In other words, thank you, YouTube.

If you would like to participate, please make a 30-second to 2-minute long video and upload it to YouTube. In your video, please address issues such as,

"How mortgage fraudsters like Casey Serin have affected me/my family/my neighborhood."

"Why mortgage fraudsters like Casey Serin need to be held accountable for their actions."

"Why 'small-fry' felons like Casey and Galina Serin need to be prosecuted."

"Why multi-state felons like Casey and Galina Serin do need to be held accountable for 'every dirty penny.'"

"Why a 'subprime mortgage bailout' is a bad idea."

Take a video of yourself, or, if you don't want to show your face, maybe you want to narrate your video as you drive or walk your neighborhood. The possibilities are endless.

The videos will be compiled and forwarded to members of Congress, particularly those in districts where Casey and Galina Serin had properties, and those who like to hold press conferences about subprime mortgage bailouts. The videos will also be forwarded to District Attorneys in the cities and counties where Casey and Galina Serin briefly owned their foreclosed properties.

I hope that you will join "The Casey Serin Project" and spread the word.

The Human Zoo

I received a funny email today. The friend who sent it informed me that he was reading an online text of H.L. Mencken to ward off work boredom. I found this funny because I was forced to read Mencken's Chrestomathy as a part of sixth-grade literature.

So I find it difficult, again funny, to think that someone was reading Mencken to stave off boredom. I jotted off a note that maybe he might want to consider Dante's Inferno for his next bit of light reading, then thought about my own knee-jerk response.

(A brief sidenote: I highly recommend clicking on the Inferno link. Sit through the flash intro and all to see the product of a truly twisted mind. I almost revoked my loathing for this novel, until I was reminded that "There are four rings of the frozen lake of Cocytus: 1)Caina, 2)Antenora, 3)Ptolomea, 4)Judecca." Ugh...it's an eigth-grade blue book test all over again.)

Looking back there is certainly a danger in having young people read advanced topics as a basis for education. Certainly, texts such as this helped develop my reasoning and logic, but I surely never understood anything other than the mechanics of the writing back then. Consuming an author like Mencken for content could only come later; but to folks who were force-fed the rants at an early age, the likelihood of revisiting such authors at a later stage is severely diminished.

So I took a few precious minutes out of my day to read the link my friend had included in his email. It proved to be a timely topic, as you will see. I was mildly surprised to be amused by this selection from "Damn!" and believe I will have to rethink the lifetime ban on Mencken.

I often wonder how much sound and nourishing food is fed to the animals in the zoological gardens of America every week, and try to figure out what the public gets in return for the cost thereof. The annual bill must surely run into millions; one is constantly hearing how much beef a lion downs at a meal, and how many tons of hay an elephant dispatches in a month. And to what end? To the end, principally, that a horde of superintendents and keepers may be kept in easy jobs. To the end, secondarily, that the least intelligent minority of the population may have an idiotic show to gape at on Sunday afternoons, and that the young of the species may be instructed in the methods of amour prevailing among chimpanzees and become privy to the technic employed by jaguars, hyenas and polar bears in ridding themselves of ice.

So far as I can make out, after laborious visits to all the chief zoos of the nation, no other imaginable purpose is served by their existence. One hears constantly, true enough (mainly from the gentlemen they support) that they are educational. But how? Just what sort of instruction do they radiate, and what is its value? I have never been able to find out. The sober truth is that they are no more educational than so many firemen's parades or displays of sky-rockets, and that all they actually offer to the public in return for the taxes wasted upon them is a form of idle
and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to Congress or a state legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.

Education your grandmother! Show me a schoolboy who has ever learned anything valuable or important by watching a mangy old lion snoring away in its cage or a family of monkeys fighting for peanuts. To get any useful instruction out of such a spectacle is palpably impossible; not even a college professor is improved by it. The most it can imaginably impart is that the stripes of a certain sort of tiger run one way and the stripes of another sort some other way, that hyenas and polecats smell worse than Greek 'bus boys, that the Latin name of the raccoon (who was unheard of by the Romans) is _Procyon lotor_. For the dissemination of such banal knowledge, absurdly emitted and defectively taken in, the taxpayers of the United States are mulcted in hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. As well make them pay for teaching policemen the theory of least squares, or for instructing roosters in the laying of eggs.

As I mentioned, I found this timely. Because the immediate parallel that I drew was to Casey Serin. As taxpayers, we will pay for the care and feeding of Casey Serin in one way or another for years to come.

As for the educational benefit of watching the Casey Serin trainwreck from the sidelines, what benefit is there, really? Who can learn anything from Casey Serin? Much in the same way that Mencken points out the tiger's stripes, so too have we determined the shallow value of the Casey Serin.

Really...re-read the above paragraphs, and in lieu of 'zoo' or 'animals', insert "Casey Serin" or "Galina Serin." It's amazing how accurate the text becomes.

Defining "Intent"

In multiple (possibly hundreds) of instances, Casey Serin has told the world a novel's worth of fiction about his intentions: He never intended to commit mortgage fraud; he never intended to force his banks into repossession; he intended to repay "every dirty penny" of the borrowed monies.

I've thought all along that this was a load of hooey, and Casey Serin's latest, repeated comments about exploring bankruptcy protection (ha!) prove that his actual intent is to get away as unscathed as possible from the financial trainwreck that he and his wife Galina Serin created.

I don't know how I missed this article, but 'lawnmower man' over at ExUrbanNation deserves major credit for bringing it to the forum's attention.

In January of this year, C. Robert Simpson wrote a fantastic article called "Truth or Consequence" in the Scotsman Guide. It is an incredibly insightful piece on mortgage brokers' role in the subprime lending meltdown, and I found myself nearly breaking my neck by nodding so vigorously in agreement.

I have been arguing with friends and family members for several months now that mortgage brokers should be held accountable (with buyers, of course) for non-performing, no-documentation subprime loans. The reason is that they are charged with vetting a potential borrower on behalf of the financial institution.

The bank trusts that when mortgage brokers approve a borrower as a good risk that he or she actually is. Did any of these greedy bastards ever think about why subprimes often paid a heftier commission? Because finding performing borrowers in this category is tough. Any asshole can give a loan to a crackhead, so to speak. Simpson agrees (although in a less profane tone, of course), saying:

Some months ago, I attended a loan-originator luncheon, where a speaker from the
FBI gave a presentation about the latest mortgage frauds and prosecutions. The
agent said that if a stated-income loan shows an income of $10,000 per month and
the borrower's actual income is much less than that -- say, $5,000 per month --
then it is fraud, and the FBI would prosecute it as such.

The loan originators were incredulous. One broker stood up to say, "But lenders created stated loans so we could state whatever income would get the borrowers the
loan."

If I read his facial expression correctly, the FBI agent couldn't believe what he had just heard. There ensued a lively give-and-take between the agent and the loan originators regarding the intent of stated loans.

Simpson included Casey Serin in his article, and there is a very telling bit in it that should keep Casey and Galina Serin up at night with cold sweats of fear. Because it's such a huge fucking smoking gun that you can almost hear the prison doors clang as you read the article.

Of Casey and Galina Serin's eight properties, Simpson states:

On six of the properties, he received cash back at closing. The largest check he
received was for $50,000. The cash was paid to a bogus company,
controlled by a third party. It was then funneled back to Serin. In all other escrows, cash was paid to the seller, then back to Serin after closing.

Wh..wha...WHATTHEFUCK?!?! This certainly clarifies the "INTENT" question. Holy shit, we've got shell corporations, an undisclosed third party....Look here, little Casey Serin--this goes way beyond "I didn't know it was wrong," which is something you've always claimed.

This demonstrates some serious intent to defraud. And since there are already hundreds of thousands of people in America who are calling for Casey Serin's head, there's just no way that the proper authorities can (or should) overlook his theiving ass. Same goes for his wife Galina Serin.

If you have joined the ranks of the people who are fed up with Casey Serin and Galina Serin still being allowed to walk the streets as free people, feel free to contact the following folks to express your displeasure.

You can report mortage fraud via the following:

FANNIE MAE
1-800-732-6643
mortgagefraud_tips@fanniemae.com

FBI
FBI Online Tip Form
Sacramento Field Office (916) 481-9110

SACRAMENTO COUNTY DISTRICT ATTORNEY
Real Estate Fraud Unit (916) 874-9045
Special Investigations Division (916) 874-5897

Send Galina Serin to Prison

Casey Serin has gone out of his way in recent months to deny that his wife had any role in his multiple frauds and felonies. But his own words (and photos) betray that. In truth, Galina Serin has been involved in Casey's scams and get-rich-quick deals since the beginning.

Casey claims that wife Galina Serin was merely an outsider in his multiple frauds and schemes. But ignorance or stupidity has never been some sort of 'get out of jail free' card. In fact, of the four states where Casey and Galina Serin perpetrated their crimes, all four state that debt is a community property.

Since Casey and Galina Serin are California residents, the scenario is most easily clarified through California Family Code:

§910. (a) Except as otherwise expressly provided by statute, the community estate is liable for a debt incurred by either spouse before or during marriage, regardless of which spouse has the management and control of the property and regardless of whether one or both spouses are parties to the debt or to a judgment for the debt.

In short, Casey Serin can prattle on all he wants about Galina Serin having signed quit-claim deeds so that he was in sole possession of the properties. The state of California doesn't care who's name is on a particular bill. This is further reinforced by the fact that Casey Serin admits that the couple used credit cards in Galina's name to support various issues for their shady 'real estate business.'

That first co-mingled dirty penny confirmed to the state of California that Galina Serin was a willing participant. Of course, the business licenses are damning enough. It's a fairly implausible situation for two spouses two jointly register a corporation (or LLC or DBA) yet somehow only one spouse expects to hold liability for the venture.

Now, before you go crying a tear for Galina Serin, let's not forget that, as Casey has pointed out, Galina Serin has been studying to become a Certified Public Accountant. So she would have actually have been far more qualified than Casey to read over the mortgage documents, or at the very least, assess the gravity of the situation her husband was entering into.

Just as I'm inclined to not believe other spouses whose husbands commit various crimes, I find it impossible to believe that Galina Serin had no knoweldge of her husband's nefarious activities. By Casey Serin's own admission, Galina Serin has been the point person for their shady accounting since the beginning.



As you can see from the above, Galina Serin had a much broader and clearer picture of the family finances than anyone else. I'm just not buying that she couldn't perform the basic addition/subtraction functions to see a negative amount in the final line of the accounting.

So while Casey Serin was playing with his tech toys and other assorted shiny objects, it's just too precious to think that Galina Serin was blind to the multiple schemes and frauds, making her a party to them.

But let's say she is 'mentally challenged.' At least one state where Casey and Galina Serin committed their crime spree won't care. The Great State of Texas is notorious for prosecuting (hell, even executing) retarded folk. So Galina Serin's 80 IQ won't get her out of this, either.

Now, as we've recently been told, Galina Serin has been studying full-time for her Associates Degree in accounting...for at least four of the past six years. Whether or not this is another Casey Serin lie or not, anyone who has been in school for a specialized certification would have learned the very basics of the field.

When Galina Serin was doing the books for the Serin family frauds, she had to have known that there would be just a wee problem with Casey Serin's stated-income loans where he reported to earn $200,000-$300,000 per year. (This was one of Casey Serin's late-night admissions during last weekend's beg-a-thon.)

Now onto the Serin family's new path to righteousness: Bankruptcy.

First of all, to even remotely qualify for bankruptcy protection, Casey and Galina Serin would have to come clean, under penalty of perjury, about the frauds. I doubt they're willing to do that. So let's assume that they will continue to compile one lie on top of another, and 'ignore' the fraud element, because, well, everybody's doing it.

Should they take that route, the feds can tack on some additional sweet charges such as perjury and bankruptcy fraud, just for starters. But at the end of the day, bankruptcy does NOT protect anyone from the financial condequences of FRAUD and CRIME !!!

Here are some other fun charges for the dynamic dumbasses. Let's move onto Conspiracy. Black's Law defines Conspiracy as "an agreement by two or more persons to commit an unlawful act, coupled with an intent to achieve the agreement's objective, and action or conduct that furthers the agreement; a combination for an unlawful purpose."

It is worth pointing out that just because the desired outcome was not achieved does not eliminate conspiracy. In other words, even unsuccessful criminal enterprises such as those perpetrated by Casey and Galina Serin fall under conspiracy.

Galina Serin can probably look forward to some other fun charges: RICO (pattern of racketeering), racketeering (including but not limited to mail fraud, wire fraud, financial institution fraud), and money laundering (Galina's keeping the books and more than a few folks have noticed that there are at least a couple hundred thousand dollars unaccounted for).

Among the wait-and-see charges, we might also see some tax evasion and bankruptcy fraud thrown into the mix just for fun.

America's Love Affair With Deadbeats

I still have a bit of a financial-disgust hangover from Casey Serin's weekend beg-a-thon. Of course, in this frame of mind, it was probably not the right day for a friend to send me an email about the latest tax numbers.

The Tax Founation has released its latest special report, Who Pays America's Tax Burden, and Who Gets the Most Government Spending? The report finds that,

"Overall, we find that America's lowest-earning one-fifth of households received roughly $8.21 in government spending for each dollar of taxes paid in 2004. Households with middle-incomes received $1.30 per tax dollar, and America's highest-earning households received $0.41. Government spending targeted at the lowest-earning 60 percent of U.S. households is larger than what they paid in federal, state and local taxes. In 2004, between $1.03 trillion and $1.53 trillion was redistributed downward from the two highest income quintiles to the three lowest income quintiles through government taxes and spending policy."

While I questioned the rise of America's bottom-feeding class this past weekend, who knew that my Inbox would unearth even more of Casey Serin and his ilk. Maybe this is the "richness" in the lethargic class's "get rich quick" idea. After all, here in America, you can contribute the least and take the most, with few if any consequences.

As if that weren't bad enough, the Tax Foundation points out that "'Americans will work longer to pay for government (120 days) than they will for food, clothing and housing combined (105 days)," said Hodge. "Since 1986 taxes have cost more than these basic necessities. In fact, Americans will work longer to afford federal taxes alone (79 days) than they will to afford housing (62 days).'

In 2007 Americans will work another 41 days to afford their state and local taxes. That makes taxation a bigger financial burden than housing and household operation (62 days), health and medical care (52 days), food (30 days), transportation (30 days), recreation (22 days), or clothing and accessories (13 days)."

A rabid Libertarian friend has been advocating "No Representation Without Taxation" for years. In his mind, this means that, for example, the unemployed should not be able to vote on issues such as welfare spending or reforms.

After all, how many of us make an 800% return on our investments in one year? Far from it, most of us will spend the first 120 working days of 2007 to not only contribute to our communities' infrastructure, but to support the underachievers around us.

Have at it.....

Casey Serin, The End is Nigh

Casey Serin, dancing monkey, is winding down the show. After groveling to people he's been calling "haters" for the past several months, Casey returns to his petulant and arrogant self.

The very day after readers save his ass from the long arm of CashCall, Casey Serin starts posting some whiny rants about even greater amounts that he feels his readers owe him.

Fuck him. Apparently Friday night's beg-a-thon produced a couple of results. The lowlife circus atmosphere of Casey Serin taking photos of the contents of Yulia's refrigerator was a new low. Even the questionably-abled and ethically-challenged "mortgage lender" Nigel Swaby said 'enough.'

It was always a curious alliance--a mortgage lender befriending and defending a multi-state mortgage felon. But bloggers had been speculating for months that Nigel was positioning himself to eventually take over Casey Serin's website to use as a lead-generator.

And sure enough, after Casey Serin's whoring on Friday night, Nigel Swaby informed Casey he was severing whatever partnership or business dealings that were planned. I'm only surprised that any legitimate real estate pro would touch Casey Serin with a ten-foot pole. Who could possibly imagine that would be a career booster?

Other events in the world of America's favorite fucktard, Casey Serin is his idea of an April Fool's joke.

I Bought 1.3 Million Shares of GSPG
Via my corporation. On Friday. At
$0.0034. Why not?

Yeah, that's really funny. Shows a lot of gratitude to those folks who saved Yulia's couch from the CashCall collectors. You're an asshole, Casey Serin. The only thing we want to hear from you is when you stand up and reply "Yes" to the judge who asks, "Mr. Serin, is it true that you won't be testifying on your own behalf?"

The only thing I thought was funny was that, for all of the BITCHING that Casey Serin does about his supposed "haters" and the "Casey Serin hater sites" out there, he keeps one in particular in his toolbar for what could only be frequent reading.

No, this is not photoshopped. No, this is not an April Fool's joke. As we suspected all along, Casey Serin is Rob Dawg's biggest fan. Even Casey gets that he couldn't exist in the blogosphere without people like Rob.

Okay, Blogger is squashing the pic and I'm not in the mood to futz with the resolution too much. In case you don't have eyesight that allows you to see clouds around planets, it basically shows that Casey has ExUrbanNation open in his browser, obviously hopping back and forth to Rob Dawg's site.

"Only In America" Casey Serin Begs for Online Dollars

Like most of my days, I spent this past week heavily involved in cleaning up a major mess for a client. By the time Friday night rolled around and I was, once again, too exhausted to engage in any type of merry-making, so I caught up on my blog reading.

ExUrbanNation has become a regular staple, thanks to both its author's topics and the highly intelligent community amassed there. When I saw something about Casey Serin having a hard deadline from Cash Call, I wandered over there to see what the hubbub was all about.

Casey Serin was begging for "donations" from his readers to supply him with the $220 he needed to meet the Cash Call deadline by Saturday afternoon. I was shocked by the hubris. After over a year of unemployment, committing multiple felonies for monetary gain, refusing to heed any type of advice that he get a job and dig himself out of the hole he is in, he was begging.

Frankly, I was repulsed. Casey Serin has had months to find some sort of employment in order to meet the multiple hundreds of thousands of bills he has due. And yet he sat on his ass blogging, and at the 11th hour, reached out to people that he's spent the past six months whining are "hating on" him to pull his blue balls out of the fire.

While Casey Serin has been petulantly responding to his readers for the past three months that "I AM working," the reality of his situation is that he and his wife had a combined total of $40 to their names last night, were two months' past due on rent to his sister-in-law Yulia, and had about 18 hours to stop Cash Call from repossessing their belongings.

Once again, Casey Serin is not quite the big boy he is continually trying to make himself out to be.

But what amazed me even more is that people actually did reach into their hard-earned finances and sent him money. Within two hours, the total of Casey Serin's "donations" had exceeded a thousand dollars.

At that point, I lost much of the little respect I had left for society, justice, and humanity. After a ninety-hour week of "fixing" some pretty fucked-up scenarios for a client, I just wanted to put my head down on the desk and go to sleep for a very, very long time.

I mean, is this what the "American Way" has become? What happened to hard work, frugality, decency? Casey Serin was within inches of feeling even the slightest sense of consequence for the lifestyle that he has chosen for himself--a lifestyle that, primarily without his and Galina's families' support, would certainly mean homelessness and hunger. (Although, let's be honest...it's pretty fucking hard to starve to death in America.)

Apparently somewhere in the values shift of a once-great nation, we now reward frauds and felons. It goes to my theory of why white-collar criminals historically receive relatively light sentences: Because the vast majority of the jury pool can put themselves in the defendant's shoes and visualize themselves doing the exact same thing. So we apparently don't really value hard work anymore. We value getting rich quick, and sadly, most of us seem to have a price.

I was somewhat relieved to learn that a huge chunk of Casey Serin's $1,000+ in donations proved to be fraudulent. But the "donations" still enabled him to cover his nut to Cash Call and yet again avoid any type of consequence.

I don't clearly understand why rational, intelligent human beings would be willing to take money out of their own pockets and play some sort of codependant role to this little rat bastard. People who have been urging, screaming at Casey Serin to get a job for months opened their wallets and saved his ass.

I kept wondering last night if every-fucking-one online was drunk. That may be the case, as many of last night's participants express regret for assisting Casey Serin in the clear light of day.

But what fooled anyone about this supposedly 'new and improved' Casey Serin last night? Why did anyone think that someone who has exhibited a pattern of fraudulent behavior, theft, and general stupidity had somehow learned the error of his ways over a petty $220? Really, it pales in comparison to the approximately $2.5 million he has amassed through his fraud and credit lines.

If anything, what most of these people have done, under the guise of "helping" Casey Serin, is reinforce his worldview that "it's all good." That he really doesn't have to work, that magical fucking fairies will somehow deliver him money, and that he is better than people who really do work for a living.

Send Galina Serin to Prison

Casey Serin has gone out of his way in recent months to deny that his wife had any role in his multiple frauds and felonies. But his own words (and photos) betray that. In truth, Galina Serin has been involved in Casey's scams and get-rich-quick deals since the beginning.

Casey claims that wife Galina Serin was merely an outsider in his multiple frauds and schemes. But ignorance or stupidity has never been some sort of 'get out of jail free' card. In fact, of the four states where Casey and Galina Serin perpetrated their crimes, all four state that debt is a community property.

Since Casey and Galina Serin are California residents, the scenario is most easily clarified through California Family Code:

§910. (a) Except as otherwise expressly provided by statute, the community estate is liable for a debt incurred by either spouse before or during marriage, regardless of which spouse has the management and control of the property and regardless of whether one or both spouses are parties to the debt or to a judgment for the debt.

In short, Casey Serin can prattle on all he wants about Galina Serin having signed quit-claim deeds so that he was in sole possession of the properties. The state of California doesn't care who's name is on a particular bill. This is further reinforced by the fact that Casey Serin admits that the couple used credit cards in Galina's name to support various issues for their shady 'real estate business.'

That first co-mingled dirty penny confirmed to the state of California that Galina Serin was a willing participant. Of course, the business licenses are damning enough. It's a fairly implausible situation for two spouses two jointly register a corporation (or LLC or DBA) yet somehow only one spouse expects to hold liability for the venture.

Now, before you go crying a tear for Galina Serin, let's not forget that, as Casey has pointed out, Galina Serin has been studying to become a Certified Public Accountant. So she would have actually have been far more qualified than Casey to read over the mortgage documents, or at the very least, assess the gravity of the situation her husband was entering into.

Just as I'm inclined to not believe other spouses whose husbands commit various crimes, I find it impossible to believe that Galina Serin had no knoweldge of her husband's nefarious activities. By Casey Serin's own admission, Galina Serin has been the point person for their shady accounting since the beginning.



As you can see from the above, Galina Serin had a much broader and clearer picture of the family finances than anyone else. I'm just not buying that she couldn't perform the basic addition/subtraction functions to see a negative amount in the final line of the accounting.

So while Casey Serin was playing with his tech toys and other assorted shiny objects, it's just too precious to think that Galina Serin was blind to the multiple schemes and frauds, making her a party to them.

But let's say she is 'mentally challenged.' At least one state where Casey and Galina Serin committed their crime spree won't care. The Great State of Texas is notorious for prosecuting (hell, even executing) retarded folk. So Galina Serin's 80 IQ won't get her out of this, either.

Now, as we've recently been told, Galina Serin has been studying full-time for her Associates Degree in accounting...for at least four of the past six years. Whether or not this is another Casey Serin lie or not, anyone who has been in school for a specialized certification would have learned the very basics of the field.

When Galina Serin was doing the books for the Serin family frauds, she had to have known that there would be just a wee problem with Casey Serin's stated-income loans where he reported to earn $200,000-$300,000 per year. (This was one of Casey Serin's late-night admissions during last weekend's beg-a-thon.)

Now onto the Serin family's new path to righteousness: Bankruptcy.

First of all, to even remotely qualify for bankruptcy protection, Casey and Galina Serin would have to come clean, under penalty of perjury, about the frauds. I doubt they're willing to do that. So let's assume that they will continue to compile one lie on top of another, and 'ignore' the fraud element, because, well, everybody's doing it.

Should they take that route, the feds can tack on some additional sweet charges such as perjury and bankruptcy fraud, just for starters. But at the end of the day, bankruptcy does NOT protect anyone from the financial condequences of FRAUD and CRIME !!!

Here are some other fun charges for the dynamic dumbasses. Let's move onto Conspiracy. Black's Law defines Conspiracy as "an agreement by two or more persons to commit an unlawful act, coupled with an intent to achieve the agreement's objective, and action or conduct that furthers the agreement; a combination for an unlawful purpose."

It is worth pointing out that just because the desired outcome was not achieved does not eliminate conspiracy. In other words, even unsuccessful criminal enterprises such as those perpetrated by Casey and Galina Serin fall under conspiracy.

Galina Serin can probably look forward to some other fun charges: RICO (pattern of racketeering), racketeering (including but not limited to mail fraud, wire fraud, financial institution fraud), and money laundering (Galina's keeping the books and more than a few folks have noticed that there are at least a couple hundred thousand dollars unaccounted for).

Among the wait-and-see charges, we might also see some tax evasion and bankruptcy fraud thrown into the mix just for fun.

Meet the "Barbie Bandits" Part Two

As more information is released about the two fucktard 'bank robbers' in Georiga who disguised themselves with only bug-eyed sunglasses, one can't help but think about what a train wreck these girls are.

Apparantly, after Ashley Miller and Nicole Johnshon perpetrated their 'heist' of an Atlanta-area Bank of America, the two went on a spending spree. The left the suburbs, where they had held up a B of A inside a Kroger store, and headed to the posh Buckhead district to pamper themselves.

The girls first hit the Carter-Barnes salon, getting their hair cut and colored, then leaving $50 tips for their stylists. (Considering that they probably dropped $300 each on services, it's not even remotely an extraordinary tip.)

According to one of the hair stylists, she talked with the duo about the recent Atlanta area bank job. She reports that the two were unfazed by the incident, only saying "I know, that's so crazy, isn't it?" So they were obviously aware that they were being hunted, but were too dumb or high to let that freak them out.

They then reportedly hit the Cheesecake Factory on Peachtree Street for dinner. (Why do the white trash gravitate to chain restaurants? I mean, personally, I would have booked a table at a *nice* restaurant, but apparantly Cheesecake Factory is the tits to these girls.)

The girls parents are understandably devastated. I saw an interview with Ashley Miller's mom last night, and she looked absolutely gobsmacked. But the thing is, both of these girls had been on a collision course for at least some time.

Heather Johnston had been persona non grata in her family for several months. She was caught breaking into her parents' home through a back window while they were out of town. When the parents were contacted to confirm Heather's story that she was just breaking in because she had lost her key, they told police that she was absolutely NOT supposed to be in their home. According to the police report, the officer writes that the parents "specifically indicated she does not belong inside" the home.

Heather was then promptly arrested on criminal trespass charges. When she was booked on those charges, she listed her occupation as "dancer". Really...don't try to even act surprised.

Ashley Miller's resume is not any better. She was given a DUI in July 2006 (remember, she's only 19 as of this writing). When the group was arrested on the Bank of America heist, Ashley Miller, Heather Johnston and Michael Chastang were also found to be holding "less than an ounce" of marijuana and "more than 28 grams of ecstacy."

When asked about the x that Chastang was holding, Ashley Miller told the police that it was hers, and that she is "a drug dealer". She is not being released from jail due to probation violations associated with her DUI charge. Yeah-- (laughs)--bank robbery is probably a surefire way to violate probation!

Michael Chastang, it turns out, was in fact the ringleader as I first surmised here. His criminal resume lists previous arrests for theft, firearms and drug charges. What a winner. He apparantly introduced the dynamic dumb-asses to equally IQ-challenged Benny Herman Allen, and coordinated the plan.

He's the mastermind in the sense that he was the only one bright enough to not actually be in the vicinity of such a moronic crime.

Other than Heather Johnston's parents, who seem to have the most realistic handle on what a hell-bent path their daughter has been on, the other parents are sticking their heads in the sand. Both Miller's and Chastang's mothers can be found in the news hand-wrenching and saying idiotic things like her child "fell into a bad crowd" and other platitudes.

Hey folks, let me clarify something for you---YOUR KIDS ARE THE BAD CROWD. They devised this half-assed scheme to commit multiple felonies, then treated themselves to luxuries while they knew they were the most wanted felons in Georgia at the time. This is not the time to defend them.

The only thing that Ashley Miller, Heather Johnston, Michael Chastang and Benny Herman Allen have going for them right now is that they have been replaced as America's dumbest criminals.

That honor now belongs to 17-year old Demetris McCoy, of Watauga, Texas. While police were investigating his home regarding a series of buglaries in the area, they found a video of the asswipe forcing his 2- and 5-year old nephews to smoke a blunt, by putting it in the kids' mouths and badgering them to inhale.

I'm starting to develop some very strong ideas about forced sterilization.

Who Are The "Barbie Bandits"???

It used to be that if you had some type of "personal" emergency, you had a pact with a best friend to come rescue your "naughties" before your family might descend upon your homestead.

In this day and age, it seems just as wise to have someone pull down your webpages.

Is this how the "Barbie Bandit" group got nailed? Was their internet exposure a factor in helping the public to identify them?

The question floating around the watercoolers of America this morning will be, "Who are these people?"

So we updated this after the booking photos hit the web. Boy, these girls look rough. This might very well be the first time that surveillance photos actually make someone look better than they do in real life. Then again, maybe that was their disguise...to commit the crime dressed as upper class suburban girls.

I'M A BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WORLD:

Ashley Miller, 19 and Heather Johnston, 19

monkey types the bible points out that the booking photos disprove any speculation that these are spoiled suburban girls. That, really, they look like the meth has taken hold.

THE INSIDER: Benny "Herman" Allen

It turns out that Herman is a gamer. If you look at his online profile, you'll see that the very last topic lists him as working in "Information Security" at Bank of America.

Fuck. We should all feel good about that.

Particularly when he lists one of his hobbies as technology.

Am I the only one who thinks that B of A customers have their info floating all over the web right now?

I'm just saying....those are some fancy rims there.....

I guess Herman got popped before he could finish filling out his profile with "rob my bank" under his thinks of "What I like to do."

And in the "say it ain't so" category, Herman's latest blog reveals that he is soon to be a father:

Way to practice being a role model, there.

THE UNKNOWN: Michael Chasting

Well, it's a pretty unusual name, with very little online information. Michael Chasting remains the group member that everyone knows the least about. Which could make him the fall-guy of the group, but judging from this group of fucktards, I think he's got to be the brains, by default.

Let me know what you come up with.....

"Barbie Bandits" Caught

Obviously, the Barbie Bandits didn't watch the movie closely enough and missed the part where you're supposed to dress up as a Betty Doll when you rob a bank.

Described in blogs across the country as the "hot chick bank robbers", the two girls who robbed an Atlanta area Bank of America were caught today.

Frankly, I'm surprised it took this long. The girls didn't disguise themselves very well. In fact, they both had their hair pulled back from their faces, making them that much more recognizable.

They made national news when their photos were beamed all over the free world, showcasing their smiling faces and suburban chic sunglasses.

So who are the Barbie Bandits? And why did they rob a Cobb County bank?

Well, as many people suspected, the robbery was staged. The 19-year old girls are smiling in the photos because they're handing the supposed 'robbery note' to their friend, who was working behind the counter.

Police point out that the girls were easily identified, thanks to their lack of a disguise, and that they and two B of A employees have been arrested and charged with theft.

Honestly, this has to be one of the stupidest "crimes" in recent memory.

The police released this to the media:

MARCH 1--Police tonight arrested two young women, a bank teller, and a fourth accomplice in connection with Tuesday's robbery of a Bank of America branch in Acworth, Georgia. The inside job was allegedly pulled off by Ashley Nicole Miller and Heather Johnston, both 19, with the assistance of bank employee Benny Herman Allen, 22, and Michael Chastang, 27. While the incident appeared to be a bank robbery, cops now consider it a felony theft and have charged the quartet accordingly. Miller and Johnson were captured by a bank surveillance camera as they stood smiling at a counter after handing a teller a note demanding money. The women (both of whom live in neighboring Fulton County) and their male cohorts were arrested less than two days after Cobb County Police Department officials circulated the below surveillance photos showing the women wearing disguises consisting solely of oversized sunglasses (the kind favored by Hollywood starlets). The group was apprehended with the aid of tips that poured into police from citizens who saw the bank camera photos. They are currently being booked into the Cobb County jail.