Showing posts with label attention whore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attention whore. Show all posts

5/17/2007

Saving the Heathens or More Christian Hypocracy?

When the fundies go after a new target audience, I tend to arch an eyebrow with suspicion. Much of my cynicism comes from seeing first-hand so much of the "good" work done by missionaries in foreign countries.

Now don't get me wrong...if you feel a calling to pack up your life and go to a region of the world where people are suffering and starving and you work your ass off to plant fields, dig wells and raise livestock, that's magnanimous by any definition.

If, in this process, you bolster your own spirit by praying and reading scripture, then that's fine as well. But when you decide that providing succor to the suffering is contingent upon their accepting your faith and worshiping alongside you, you're crossing an indelible moral line.

The resurgence of right-wing Christianity in America is probably best defined by the old question "how do you boil a frog?" You don't throw it into a boiling pot; instead, you put it in temperate water and turn up the heat until it's cooked.

Christianity has been inserted into previously uncharted territory, becoming highly visible in the fringe. There has been a rise in Alt-Christian music, Christian surfers, and skateboarders. (Personally, it always gives me a jolt when I come across a random surfer who wants to strike up a conversation about his relationship with Jesus Christ as I'm peeling off my wetsuit.)

Now the fundies are getting into porn. Oh, don't get me wrong...they've been watching it, ahem, religiously, for years. In fact, the Pat Robertson media outlet CBN reports that "a survey of men at a Promise Keepers rally showed half had looked at porn in the week just before the rally." Meanwhile, Christianity Today magazine found 37 percent of pastors admit to struggling with pornography.

Enter the XXX Church. The ministry's website opens with a hot pink page with a picture of porn king Ron Jeremy hoisting a cigar. The schtick here is that "porn pastor" Craig Gross, himself the embodiment of a Tim Burton character, tours the country with Jeremy, publicly debating pornography.

Meanwhile, Gross's church aims to save the porn industry from itself, setting up booths at trade shows in order to pass out New Testament Bibles emblazoned with "Jesus loves porn stars" to the wicked and sinful of the industry.

Under the umbrella of what seems to be a multimedia marketing firm called Fireproof Ministries, XXX Church places a high importance on getting so-called porn stars out of the industry. Their Save a Ho Ester campaign lays out the following requirements in return for salvation. Among them:

"Local church involvement; Willing to be accountable to leaders of local church and individuals within the ministry; Stop receiving funds, royalties, gifts, or previous royalties from prior industry work; Fill out monthly accountability report detailing finances, relationships, etc; Willing to not live with anyone of the opposite sex unless married; Cannot take any job in modeling or sex industry."

In return, there are vague promises to "exhaust all resources" to assist with things like schooling, counseling, legal, and living expenses. On that front, Fireproof Ministries tells those hopping off the porn train that "We will send up to $500 at the beginning of the month for the first 12 months providing all obligations have been met from the previous month."

Um, okay.

Not surprisingly, in its some five years of existence, XXX Church hasn't "saved" too many porn queens. According to most published reports, the industry and its members tend to ignore the church, regarding it as a fly in the KY, so to speak. Some have befriended the group, not necessarily agreeing with their message, but supporting their right to promulgate it.

In one case, a director who spoke with them at a porn convention said, "Oh, I get it. You guys are like Jesus walking with the lepers." He was impressed with their approach, and he offered to shoot a commercial for them at his own expense.

Christians have always loved the stories of Jesus washing the feet of prostitutes. But in this case, XXX Church's biggest detractors are other Christians and churches.

"XXXchurch.com features a page full of hate mail-most of it from Christians who find their tactics too extreme. But Gross and Foster are unfazed-and point out that 16 percent of those who visit the site find it while surfing for porn."


Do As I Say, Not As I Do?

As some fundies consider the church to be "Porn's Worst Nightmare," I can't help but wonder why they are looking outside of their own rank and file. They've obviously got a healthy population of their own who are watching adult fare throughout the week, then reporting for zealot duty on the Sabbath.

With Promise Keepers and ministers cruising x-rated materials, and folks stumbling across the main website (the tagline of which is "The #1 Christian Porn Site!") while looking for gangbang flicks, why put so many resources into the porn industry?

The reality is that Fireproof Ministries recognizes that it could be a player in providing Christian-based marketing and advertising to similarly minded groups. Their 2007 mission plan notes that they're making themselves available for lucrative advertising contracts, and have created a boutique marketing/graphic design component and record label.

In order to drive this over the top, they desperately need their own Mary Magdalene.

The porn star outreach has only succeeded in passing out bibles at conventions. Paying consulting fees to Ron Jeremy to debate porn in various venues provides them an insider to the industry. But no one is stepping forward to claim their salvation thanks to XXX Church.

Consider the case of the commercial-shooting porn director. "When asked if the pastors were getting through to him, DiGiorgio replied, "I'm sure that you and your viewers would love to have me say 'yes.' But unfortunately, 'no. I feel the faith that they have, okay, if you will, I sense that about them. I can feel it. It's a real thing. It's almost a tangible thing. Has it become contagious to me? I have to answer 'no.'"

The most obvious testimonial is blatantly absent: That from twenty-something founder Craig Gross. Gross's bio for his book Questions You Can't Ask Your Mama About Sex says simply that he is married with two children.

So where does his take on porn come from? One would think that, in order to speak intelligently about the topic, he would have had to have engaged in some "research viewing," but no mention is ever made. Is Craig Gross just an average twenty-something guy obsessed with sex? Why the adamant stance that porn hurts marriage?

Gross's single greatest take on porn is the way the industry treats its women. "There's no respect. To think that these are somebody's daughters. My pastor from my old church, Brian, is here with us. He says that these women are treated like dogs," says Gross.

Craig Gross's fellow Porn Pastor agrees with this hearsay. "Just look around. Look at the devices and the machines -- machines that are designed to do certain things to women. Yeah, it's degrading. There's no doubt about it."

And yet, millions of women (and their doctors) historically disagree.

In short, the whole premise of the church is based around casual observations, extrapolating the most generalized conclusions that spring to mind. But a lack of factual research has never stopped anyone from becoming a well-known evangelical preacher.

Nor will it stop Craig Gross and his porn crew, who are looking to expand their ministry into such desirable marketing demographics as college campuses, the X Games, WWE Professional Wrestling, and a highly coveted slot on the Vans Warped Tour.

Perhaps other church's biggest problem with XXX Church isn't that they choose to associate with the porn industry.

Maybe it's that the church requests hefty financial and in-kind donations from the faith community to bolster its for-profit branches such as its marketing firm and record label, even selling $500 "porn packages" to churches across the country. (Their goal of finding 200 churches to buy the packages means a tidy $100,000 to the church.)

Meanwhile, those same churches are home to members with a variety of very real needs. Those everyday folks aren't porn stars, and they won't further the XXX Church goals' of penetrating desirable commercial demographics, so they're left to their own devices while a twenty-something Porn Pastor pushes his agenda in front of a bank of cameras.

5/12/2007

Just. Stop. It.

One popular trend that has been annoying the hell out of me for quite some time is the resurgence of roller derby. I find its very existence to be an incredible joke, and I recoil every time I see a poster advertising a bunch of scantily-clad butch girls on wheels.

My knee-jerk reaction to this pseudo sport comes from the idea that it is somehow an empowering feminist movement. The women involved in roller derby have convinced themselves that this is some sort of grrrl power statement, when the reality couldn't be further from the truth.

I mean, a bunch of girls dress up in fishnets and catholic school girl skirts, skate around in circles, and try to bash the hell out of one another while a bunch of dudes swill cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon and whoop from the sidelines.

Most roller derby "fans" are middle-aged boys who come for the promise of watching girls rough up one another. The sex-and-violence combo is just a new twist on the pop culture bitch fight.

Columnist Mike Seate of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review agrees. After writing a critical roller derby article, he was inundated by hate mail. He "just didn't get it" he was told--didn't see the power and promise of all this female empowerment zipping around the oval. But that wasn't the problem at all....he got it. He got it all too well:

"When I took in a modern roller derby bout in California a while back, the audience was mostly male and smiled at all the exposed female flesh. It brought to mind a visit to Daytona Beach where an entertainment promoter insisted I write a detailed, sympathetic feature on something called "Foxxy Boxxing." This, along with "Nude Cole-Slaw Wrasslin'" contests had made the promoter a very wealthy man. These "sports," if you will, also made many of the guys in Daytona very happy."

Seate's assessment of roller derby falls nicely into line with the origins of the so-called sport. The first derby was organized in 1935 by a sports promoter named Leo A. Seltzer. His intent was actually kind of cool--to skate 57,000 laps, equaling the distance across the United States. Ergo, the term "derby."

These early efforts were co-ed, with teams composed of one man and one woman. Two years later, a journalist by the name of Damon Runyon commented that roller derby's highlights were the collisions. So the game was changed to single-sex, with men and women alternating time on the rink. Rather than working in tandem, the skaters' roles shifted to offensive and defensive.

The "evolution" of roller derby continued into the seventies, where that generation took their cues from professional wrestling. This is where the goofy names and blustering talk originated, and the time frame that is being regenerated today.

During this period, roller derby was televised. It was further popularized by the film "Kansas City Bomber," starring the sexpot Raquel Welch.

While roller derby participants attempt to meld the kitsch of pro wrestling and the sex kitten appeal of Welch, in reality they tend to fall into two categories: the butch girls who enjoy a good contact sport, and the attention-whore girls who like the little costumes and the tattooed boys on the sidelines.

In either case, most of these chicks aren't people that I would necessarily want to see "scantily-clad." Let's face it: roller derby attracts some big girls.

Suffice to say that the titillating aspect of roller derby is lost on me. The girls who come to it from the side of "I want to parade around in a short skirt and have guys look up my skirt when I fall" strike me as women who, if given the chance, would feel the need to validate themselves by swinging around a pole. Except that no one is willing to proffer their dollar bills for the g-string collection.


A friend told me that trying to write an article about why roller derby annoys me would be like authoring a piece akin to "man, I'm so sick of that Huey Lewis!" And in a way, he's right. So how did this resurgence come about?

Like everything else, I blame misplaced irony. Roller derby was, at best, a fringe sport even in its heyday. This lack of popularity makes it an ideal framework for the Fatty Page crowd, a reference to the overweight girls who mistakenly identify their own bodies to the curves of '50s fetish model Bettie Page.

But I also blame a bizarrely twisted take on feminism at the root of this resurgence. Roller derby girls classify their activities as risk-taking, challenging, and some sort of fuck-you to the 'establishment.' While they vehemently argue that there are no overt sex-as-a-weapon elements, every roller derby team makes mention of its extensive use of fishnets, knee-socks, hotpants and tiny tops. Oh, and beating the hell out of other girls.


To me, this is just juvenile pussy power..."Hey, I need attention. I'm going to direct your attention to my vagina and then be offended when you notice. That's mine. MINE. Now back to my vagina."

I mean, roller derby hasn't exactly been endorsed by Gloria Steinem and plastered to the cover of Ms. magazine.

I stumbled across a fellow blogger's take on roller derby, and found some indominable truths in her words. Words that the roller derby girls found and came back to mock her as a "frigid spinster." Go go girl power!

"The “sport” is only nominally about skating....it’s actually about...sex. That’s right, sex, only not real sex, such as the kind we could all be having if Hugh Hefner hadn’t ruined it for everybody, but phony sex as defined by the horndog ideology of the pornocracy. The roller derby is an example of...a non-penetrative, G-rated, but nevertheless two-dimensional, stereotypical, and bogus picture of female sexuality generated from an amorphous plasma of cultural misogyny. It’s kindergarten burlesque."

So if you want to skate around in a sexualized version of kids' clothing while grubby dudes howl, that is surely your prerogative. But don't try to tart it up and call it something that it's not. Because tits and ass and girl fights do not a movement make.

2/04/2007

Pillow Fight League

A new pseudo-sport has been created for attention whores and Fatty Page girls. One can only wonder, "Will a roller derby exodus ensue?"