3/21/2007

Casey Serin Jokes

What a week...

As my full-time-plus readers can relate to, work often finds a way of just handing you your arse. Several times this week, I have thought about the flighty existence of Casey Serin and how lovely it must be to loll about napping and spending money you probably never intend to repay.

Fortunately for society, most of us don't take that route. And I can only imagine how my world would come crashing down if I did. I mean, if I showed up at my parents' house for dinner out of an actual physical need, the would kick my ass to high heaven.

God forbid I tried that if I were actually married. It is no stretch of hyperbole to believe that my family would literally take up arms to hold some sort of reality intervention. Honest odds-makers would have to admit that the theoretical husband would not make it out alive.

This line of thinking has also lead to me randomly thinking of tired jokes, and inserting a Casey or Galina Serin ending to them. It's hoards of fun, and I highly encourage you to jump in with your own.

How many Casey Serins does it take to change a light bulb?

None, of course. Galina's supposed to be calling the contractor about that.


How many Casey Serins does it take to open the mail?

We don't know yet. He's still researching various options for outsourcing.


With a new business venture in mind, Casey Serin looks to his wife Galina. He grabs her tits and says "If these could produce diamonds, I could sell them on my website and I wouldn't have to work." As she walks away in a huff, he slaps her ass and says, "The same thing would be true if this created golden eggs." Infuriated, Galina turns around, grabs his crotch, and says "Yeah, well if this were worth a damn, we could finally move out of my sister's house!"


Casey Serin...if he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.


Why are Casey and Galina Serin the ideal couple? Because individually, they can do nothing. Together, they decide that nothing can be done.


How many Casey Serins does it take to turn off a running faucet?

One. But he's blogging right now and asking his readers about the best mops to buy.


Since Casey and Galina Serin are having dinner at her parent's house yet again, his mother-in-law asks him to bring her a cup of tea. She tells him she wants sugar, but no cream. Casey comes to the table, empty-handed and confused. His mother-in-law asks him where her cup of tea is. "Well, you were out of cream, so should I make it with no milk instead?"


In order to achieve his goal of becoming a licensed financial advisor, Casey Serin must first sit for an ethics exam. Galina is thrilled when he comes home to tell her that he passed. "My God, Casey, how did you manage to do that?" He looks at her, smiles and says "I cheated, of course." They spend the rest of the evening discussing how everyone who sits for the exam does that.


Casey Serin visits his religious advisor and admits that he believes he has committed a sin. The man of God breathes a heavy sigh of relief, "Finally, young Casey, you have realized the detriment of your lies and fraud." Casey is stunned. "Father, what are you talking about? I think I have committed the sin of vanity. Every morning in the shower I am reminded of how intelligent I am." The man sat quietly for a moment, then replied, "I have good news for you, Casey. That is not a sin. It's just a huge mistake."


Like I said, these are tired old hundred thousand year-old jokes. But inserting Casey or Galina Serin into them is a kind of silly fun, like adding "in bed" to the end of a fortune in a cookie.

Please share your wit and wisdom with the rest of the class. I'm still looking for a good "A priest, a rabbi, and Casey Serin walk into a bar..." joke.

2 comments:

Lucidiocy said...

not for nothing, (<- ok, bad pun)
but there must be at least one joke about Casey flipping free land in the frozen interior in Alaska.

I'm sure Anderson, AK would love to have him

and isn't there already a town named Galina, Galena, something like that.

Aspeth said...

Ooooh, that's going to have to be worked out. Thar's gold in them thar hills!

Nice call on the vague-ass Galina / Galena reference!!!!

"Galena is the largest city in the Yukon-Koyukuk Census Area in the U.S state of Alaska. At the 2000 census the population was 675....
[edit] History
The Koyukon Athabascans had seasonal camps in the area and moved as the wild game migrated. In the summer many families floated on rafts to the Yukon River to fish for salmon. There were 12 summer fish camps located on the Yukon River between the Koyukuk River and the Nowitna River. Galena was established in 1918 near an Athabascan fish camp called Henry's Point. It became a supply and point for nearby lead ore mines that opened in 1918 and 1919.

In 1920, Athabascans living upriver at Louden began moving to Galena to sell wood to steamboats and to work hauling freight for the mines. A school was established in Galena in the mid-1920s. In World War II an air field, the Galena Air Force Station, was built. During the 1950s, the construction of military facilities at the Galena and Campion Air Force Stations, airport and road developments, caused economic growth in Galena. Galena Air Force Station closed in 1993.

There were floods in 1945 and 1971. Because of the floods, a new townsite, called New Town, was chosen at Alexander Lake, about 2 1/2 km (1 1/2 miles) east of the original townsite. The city offices, the health clinic, schools, store, and more than 150 homes were constructed at New Town.

Galena has three schools. Galena City School is primarily for local K-12 students, and the vocational Galena Interior Learning Academy is a boarding school which draws students from around the state. The Galena boys' and girls' basketball teams were regional champions from 2004 to 2006. Galena's third school is Interior Distance Education of Alaska, a state-wide homeschool support program that serves 3,500 students across the state. It is the biggest school (of any kind) in Alaska.

Trivia
On December 14, 2004, Galena's City Council tentatively accepted a proposal from Toshiba Corporation to build a small nuclear reactor in the village as a demonstration, which if built would be the first nuclear power plant in Alaska.
The fictional GI Joe character Frostbite was born in Galena.
In the video game Metal Gear Solid, two F-16 fighters are dispatched from Galena Air Force Base to the fictional Shadow Moses island in Alaska as a diversion.
In the film WarGames, General Beringer, NORAD commander, orders two F-16 fighters from Galena AFB to intercept apparent Soviet bombers."

(I find this all very cool, as I have some bizarre romance with the *theory* of life in AK.)