Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna Nicole

Even in death, Anna Nicole is still giving the world a show. You have to give this girl credit...I don't know that her death could have been scripted any better than how it's actually played out.

News reports are speculating about the cause of death, while the crazy white trash family members are making the morning news and talk show circuits. Meanwhile, the newest development is just classic Anna Nicole.

Questions are now swirling about the newborn daughter. Supposedly, Anna Nicole's trailer park mama has shuttled herself to the Bahamas to whisk the baby away. (And if you've ever seen this woman and heard her speak about her own daughter, I can't imagine a worse idea of 'safe custody' than with the woman who produced Anna Nicole herself!)

Apparantly Howard K. Stern has hidden the bebe in an 'undisclosed location', while Anna Nicole's perported baby daddy filed legal papers that will prevent the dead woman from leaving government control for another two weeks at least. This is to ensure that the DNA test on the newborn can be conducted with absolute certainty.

But holy hell! Now there's a new claim to the kid, in the form of Prince Frederic von Anhalt. Most of us wouldn't know him by that moniker, so try this one--he's been married to none other than Zsa Zsa Gabor for the past twenty years! This guy must like his woman large and complicated.

While the Prince held his press conference to volunteer possible paternity, he also lets this bomb drop: In his own words, the Prince confesses that he may or may not be the child's father, and says that there are "twenty to thirty" men who could have fathered the kid.

Oh, Howard, no wonder you're hiding. The shit's really hitting the fan at Casa de Fake Marriage.

Okay, here are my predictions for what happens next:

1. Anna Nicole's crazy mama (who was last making the media circuit claiming that Anna must have killed her son Daniel while he was visiting her hospital room) turns up all over the media making more crazy claims against her own daughter.

2. While in custody of the Broward County Medical Examiner, Anna Nicole's body goes missing.

3. Crazy, crazy dirt starts to come out about Howard K. Stern, explaining why he's been babysitting Anna Nicole for so many years.

4. The real baby daddy turns out to be some trucker from Lubbock, who finds a winning lottery ticket in the form of a new baby daughter.

That's what I think, anyway. But who knows what tomorrow morning's news holds.