Standards and Practices

A few weekends ago on the Chris Matthews Show, panelist Cynthia Tucker made such a shocking statement, I thought my neck would snap as I jerked my head from the kitchen to the living room to look at the television.

As part of the usual routine, I was making some early morning coffee while the Sunday morning commentary shows blared in the background. While I tend to disagree with a lot of the opinions put forth, I have a deep respect for those who can back up their arguments with sound reason and judgement. In my world, this passes for entertainment.

In this case, the commentators were engaged in the neverending discussion of Presidential candidates. Because I'm apathetic to a "campaign season" that lasts two years, the discussion sounded like this, "Blahblahblahblahblah." My brain interpreted it as white noise during that segment.

Until Cynthia Tucker, editor of the Atlanta Journal Constitution's Opinion section. She remarked that John McCain is unique to the Republican side.....because of his strong Libertarian tendencies.

Oh. My. God.

As someone who has logged several years on the Hill, I have had the chance to work with and alongside pretty much every Member of note. John McCain has never, once, demonstrated the "small government" and "personal freedom" ideals of a Libertarian. Not once. In fact, John McCain's tendencies toward spending sprees made me frequently question how he could even call himself a Republican.

My time on the Hill has led me to equally disdain political parties, particularly the two biggies. There are very few Members who are able to spend any amount of time on the Hill and not get swept into the undercurrent of greed and power that is palpable in the hallways. Those who do have my undying respect.

But this isn't meant to be a political diatribe.

The reason Cynthia Tucker's comment still sticks in my mind these weeks later is because the following week, Chris Matthews announced that Cynthia Tucker would not be on the show. I actually held my breath for a moment, thinking that her completely ignorant John McCain comment had gotten her banished into the abyss.

But no. Cynthia Tucker couldn't make the show because she was celebrating winning the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary.

Wh...wh...Wha.....WHAT?!?!?

To be fair, Tucker's prize was awarded based on her submission of ten hand-picked articles that were a part of her Pulitzer bid. But this causes me to ask, shouldn't her body of work be considered in a larger context?

I mean, the Pulitzer is a prize of unparalleled weight. I'm disappointed that there is not more of an organic process in choosing to laud honorees. Frankly, I'll never be able to read one of Tucker's articles without the shadow of her completely idiotic "McCain is more Libertarian than Republican" comment hovering over the words. The comment is so factually flawed at its core, she has lost all credibility.

It just feels odd that a writer can cherry-pick ten articles of their choosing, collect some glowing recommendations from their publisher, and package that into a submission for one of the most prestigious awards on the planet.

I'm sure that Tucker's submission articles were well-written. But considering that Tucker has been penning articles for some twenty years, it represents the smallest fraction of her overall body of work. I would think that members of the Pulitzer Prize Board would spot-read other published pieces.

Welcome to My Award Winning Blog

It’s official! This is now an “Award-Winning Blog”

The best fuckin' weblog name in the known universe: TwelveYearsOfBeingAnnoyedByChloeSevignyDotCom

I’m of course taking my cue from the incoherent ramblings of a certain smarmy Salt Lake City-area mortgage broker, who likes to refer to his dot-blogspot site as ‘award winning.’ Now, of course, this is a blogspot blog as well, but hey, I’m just here rambling and telling stories. I’m not sending out press releases and trying to run a business from a free fucking Google page.

(Yes, Nigel, I’m talking about you. You’ve become quite the regular little visitor here, haven’t you? Nary a day goes by anymore when I don’t see your dirty electronic fingerprint.)

Now most of you come here and are rightfully amused by my little rants and ramblings. Others come here and want to tell me what to do in these pages...hell, what I should be thinking! My respect for the First Amendment causes me to publish comments with which I don’t agree.

But I was thinking today about the rather silly comments that some folks leave, telling me, in essence, to ‘take it easy’ on someone or other. Well, guess what, kitty kats. That’s not ever going to happen. Allow me to take this time to remind everyone of the very definition of the blog.

“Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer.”

“A public web site where users post informal journals of their thoughts, comments, and philosophies, updated frequently and normally reflecting the views of the blog's creator.”

“Visitors typically visit blogs to read the latest news and opinions of the blogger.”

No one’s begging your acceptance of the opinions contained herein. And if you think I’m being too harsh on, say, the Barbie Bandits…well that’s just too damn bad. Because you see, we as humans make a conscious decision to either contribute to or drain from our communities. This is what we call a Society.

Within this society, most people contribute. They work, they love, they donate, and they create. Others simply take. And once you decide to suckle off the collective teat of the contributors, then we get to jump in and have a say.

Now I understand that some of you take a different approach. I’ve gotten a lot of notes from people who tell me they’re praying for certain criminals who have graced these pages. And I’m not trying to take that away from you.

But don’t get all uppity about my decision to spew a few choice words in the direction of the offenders instead. Because they’re parasites. You can go ahead and pray. I'll stick to my witty repartee.

I have to admit that I giggled a little this morning when I got another one of those ‘let he who is without sin cast the first stone’ comments. It’s too fucking easy...because my mistakes have never included fucking bank robbery!

You see, those of us who are contributors to society tend to make mistakes like missing a few curfews, occasionally getting a poor grade on a paper, or snogging someone we ultimately wish we’d never met. We’ve inevitably said something cruel to someone we love; we’ve broken someone’s heart; we may have irreparably damaged a friendship.

These, my friends, are examples of ‘mistakes’ and ‘youthful indiscretions’—-not fucking bank robbery, not fucking mortgage fraud. From the way some of you sound, you really might be shocked to learn that most of use make it through our lives without committing felonies!!!

And those who choose to take from the contributing members of society are sometimes subjected to opinions on those actions. So when Casey Serin is eventually living rent-free in a federal prison, the rest of us will continue our daily lives of contribution, including funding his three-hots-and-a-cot.

Not quite an even trade, is it?

But, oh, you want to be offended because I used the word cunt?!? Aren’t your delicate sensibilities being expended in the wrong place?!?! Just for that, you get a forced etymology lesson (yeah, yeah, I know how some of you hate the book learnin’)

“The earliest citation of this usage appears in the Oxford English Dictionary, in reference to a London street known as "Gropecunt Lane," circa 1230…. In certain circles the word is considered merely a common profanity with an often humorous connotation”.

And, yes, while I am a true-blooded American, I spent a great deal of time overseas growing up. And ‘the c-word’ as some of you call it, is very commonly said throughout the world. When you look at the origins of the word, it’s certainly a lot less harsh than the word ‘bitch’, which is bandied about in American slang with incredible frequency.

“It was being used thus as early as 1400 and referred to a lewd or sensual woman. It was not uncommon to use it in literature of the time in that sense. It was simply a metaphor, comparing lewd women to female dogs, which, if left to their own devices, will bear pups rather frequently, suggesting sexual promiscuity”

So there you have it. You managed to choke your way through my opinions and actually learn something today. Buy yourself something pretty and expensive on a maxed-out credit card for all of your hard work. You deserve it. And after all, you can always declare bankruptcy and rely on the contributors in society to keep food on your table.

Somewhere in a cold dank plot, Darwin turns in his grave.