Jaysus...do I even remember how to blog at this point?

Thanks to all who have stopped by recently to check in and leave notes. I have an unholy amount of email to sift through in this Inbox, so if you dropped a note and I haven't responded, know that I'm getting to it.

I also still owe you the remaining parts of Dustin Haywood's take on Casey Serin, so will get that queued up as well...

I've been out of reach of the blogosphere, inking up my passport with some emergency business travel. I've now done three round-trips from CA to London in the past, what, ten? fourteen? days---I've got no fucking concept of how long I've been away, as the jet lag and life at 30,000 feet is absolute bullshit. My brain is pudding, everyone, so be kind.

A special thanks to a friend that I kept up all night after my first re-entry, even though that person had to take a stupidly long flight that day as well. I can't even tell you right now how absolutely thankful I am for that conversation.

This morning finds me racked with insomnia, yet again, but still not home. Am spending the day checking in with one of our other offices, though I'll be damned if I feel like boarding a flight anytime soon. I really might just rent a car, point it toward Mexico, and buy a surfboard somewhere along the way, never to be heard from again.

Of course, this is the bitterness of jet lag and sleep deprivation talking. Just wrapped what eventually came to be a very nice merger, and once all of this wears off, I might actually celebrate for five minutes before diving head-first into the next thing.

In that spirit, I thought I'd share the most bizarre thing I'd come across in recent weeks. While sitting in an airport surfing around for mindless chum, I came across this. It's best watched with volume on, though you don't need to hear the accompanying music to see that it's truly bizarre.

At first glance, I thought these were some crazed southern California kids doing a circus sideshow version of a talent show. It appealed to me because I did a heap of competitive gymnastics growing up, with the family sitting down at one point to discuss whether I would leave home at the ripe old age of eight to study under one of the world's elite coaches. Obviously, the answer was a resounding no.

But because of this background, I love the human form. I'm constantly awed and inspired by the graceful lines that the body is capable of achieving. Needless to say, I love the ballet--or pretty much dance in any form--and have developed an intense fondness for the works of Cirque du Soliel.

It's never left me. I have a close friend who is a pro surfer with incredible upper body strength. When we're on the beach together, I run up to him yelling, "Let's play Cirque du Soliel!!!" I force him into strange positions, requesting that he then catapult me into the sky so that I may flip and fly, if for a few lovely seconds. He is always afraid that he will break me and, while I'm normally empathetic, I refuse to let his anxiety stand in the way of my fun.

So you can see why I find these girls such crazy fun to watch. Although I'll be the first to say that the thing where the girl's head is on the ground and she squirrels her feet around her body like a bug pretty much grosses me out. Like totally.

After a minute of so-called research, it turns out that these young women are not merely some kind of sideshow wunderkinds of southern California. They are, in fact, one of the latest additions to Cirque's latest North American touring show that will take place through 2008. So that at least explains something.

Other than this brief glimpse into my web surfing history, you guys are going to have to clue me in to any happenings on the interwebs. I've been living an incredibly stressful yet blissfully ignorant existence for quite a bit now, and I think I might be able to take in some of the news between naps :)


Ogg the Caveman said...


It's good to hear from you.

Schnapps said...

Hey, she's alive :)

Good to see you back, Aspeth.

Anonymous said...


My back hurts from just watching that. I need to take some Advil now.

NotAnOptimist said...

Welcome back! Looks like you've been gone for ~2 weeks, so here's a not-so-quick rundown:

-Casey waffles and Duane's offer to buy IAFF expires. Casey pleads for an extension. Duane refuses. Casey accuses LMP, Duane, and Marty of being big bullies.
-LMP is beyond furious that Casey looks to be backing out of the "settlement". He files a TRO.
-Marty starts "blogging" about Casey and threatens exposure. Casey finally calls him. Marty vanishes from the scene, probably to distance himself and his business from the Casey Circus.
-A Supporterz sets up a Casey Legal Fund and asks for donations. The site goes down almost immediately.
-Casey tells (more like pleads for) everyone to BACK OFF.
-LMP doesn't show up to the hearing due to car troubles. Casey does the dance of superiority.
-Casey goes to Phoenix, supposedly for a job interview.
-LMP politely requests all references to his last name be removed from CH.C. CH.C acquiesces.
-CH.C has hosting issues and is down for 2 days.
-Fraudcast reveals that Mama Serin appears to be the new shiny.
-Galina still not speaking to Casey.
-Casey goes to a truth-in-lending mortgage expert to fight back against the "predatory lenders".
-A Supporterz blog is put up... but appears to be taking on distinct Haterz-esque overtones.
-Casey pimps Norway for an advertiser.
-Now he's blogging about not wanting to blog and emphasizes the Aug 3rd shutdown. Huh.

Akubi said...

Welcome back!
I'm exhausted just thinking about all of those flights, so I won't mention the much anticipated Bollywood post ;).

T said...

Good to have you back, Aspeth!

The Landlord said...

Glad you are back.

But what sort of business are you in where you make three round trips to London in 14 days? I live in London and work in finance and I've made three round trips to the east coast in the last 7 months!

Sprezzatura said...

Welcome back.

NotAnOptimist said...

Oh, Aspeth, everyone missed you so much! Even the trolls.

Aspeth said...

Optimist...thanks *a mil* for the lovely summary of everything! Once again, your take on things gives me a sound guidepost to the hap's in StupidFucktardWorld.

(Note to KC...while I was out generating jumbo juice, you were screwing the pooch, yet again. God, same shit, different day. I could camp on a fucking island for months on end and find a similar summary of your stupid antics.)

Thanks all for the welcome back.

@The Landlord...obviously the wrong fucking one! :) Suffice to say that it was the tail end of getting everyone on the same page...

Beth said...

Hi Aspeth,
Glad you like Cirque. They are Canadian, did you know? As I was watching the video, I kept thinking, Somebody ought to get these girls in touch with Cirque.
I also wondered how four such well matched kids were put together. Now I know.
My children are Canadian, but there the resemblance ends. They(un)happily held up the bottom one percent of their gymnastics for the short bus kids classes. I'm glad you did better.

lucidiocy said...

I'd like to borrow your surfer buddy, he could catapult me into my first Parkour run.

Welcome back A!

Unknown said...

Hi! Thanks a ton for submitting a post for the Carnival of Craziness!

You've won a Badge of Honour!!!!!

Congrats :)

NotAnOptimist said...

Dear Aspeth,

Just for kicks, I checked out your blog's worth today. Congrats! You're not just beating inflation, you're completely outpacing [insert favorite stock market index here] by a wide margin... is there any way I can invest in your blog? ;) Betcha our favorite homeless murseboi is hopping mad reading this.

BTW, I've decided that you're an undercover CIA agent. It just came to me... very magical, I know. Sorry for blowing your cover. :-)


Christopher King said...

Yes, been a Big Fan and have watched many videos but have yet to see Cirque in person :(

Now back to Franconia:

Take a look at the Boston Magazine story that ran today.



"Chief Montminy does not keep arrest records subdivided by officer, but on the job last year, according to the word around town, McKay rang up over 300 stops—summary interrogations, drug searches—pursuing every infraction, no matter how petty, with the same bulldog ferocity. The other two full-time cops in town reportedly collected just 11 between them.

Unlike Massachusetts, New Hampshire does not have district attorneys, and relies on police prosecutors to pursue guilty verdicts in minor crimes. To earn extra money, McKay filled that position for the town. Sometimes, when trying a suspect he’d arrested, he’d put himself on the stand to present the evidence. “I always thought he was a fascist,” says Jean McLean. That impression wasn’t eased by the Hitler mustache—a dab of dark hair right under his nose—McKay wore for a time, or the GOTCHA vanity plate on his Nissan 4x4.

With such a profile, McKay attracted a lot of talk in Franconia, little of it flattering. Once, it was said, he pulled over a 79-year-old woman for an expired registration sticker. After she tried to explain that she was heading home to cook dinner for her husband, he made her wait in the car for two hours. When McKay discovered a group of kids celebrating their high school graduation by frolicking along the river, he had every one of their cars towed. He’d even threatened to ticket a man for driving his riding mower across the road. McKay’s targets rarely filed complaints, though. “People feared retribution,” says Roland Shick, an antiques dealer in nearby Bethlehem. “They were afraid McKay would attack their kids, or themselves.”

After Kenney got out, McKay kept a close eye on him. He would often drive down to Tamarack, then slowly turn around by Kenney’s house, shining his high beams into the property. Just to say hello. “I used to be able to set my clock by it,” said neighbor Connie McKenzie, who saw McKay pass by her house, headed for Easton, every evening.


"Connie McKenzie, who works as a nurse, arrived next and performed CPR on McKay until the EMTs took over. She says she wanted to check on Kenney, too, but was ordered not to. “I thought someone should at least take his pulse,” she says.

Bill Kenney is among those who theorize that Floyd was an informal backup for McKay, operating on a kind of buddy system. The two lived not far apart, and seemed to share a similar outlook on the world. Floyd refuses to speak to the press, but some in Franconia also speculate that he kept a police scanner, which would have let him track McKay’s movements. In any event, in his role in the bloody events on Route 116, he outdid the slain cop-cum-prosecutor. For Liko Kenney, Gregory W. Floyd served as judge, jury, and executioner."

John also did not have the full media kit from the AG's office that I have, which shows according to Floyd Jr. and Caleb Macaulay that Liko did NOT strike McKay twice with the car, so he wrote this:

"Kenney revved his car forward, striking the officer. Then he backed up and drove at McKay again, this time plowing the front end of the Celica up over McKay’s torso."

We now know, as I have written numerous times on my blawg, that such is not the case, according to Floyd Junior and Caleb Macaulay.


Anonymous said...

There's a link to this site from the Casey Hater Club. This means you are somehow related to that forum, right? I get a mostly blank page there now with a couple of links but no topics listed. When I try to log in it says I've been banned forever. I got a membership there a long time ago, but I never posted.

A few weeks ago I got distracted and drifted away from the Casey updates. I just remembered Casey after not thinking of him for many weeks, but it seems he has moved or disappeared. His site is no longer his and Casey Haters is closed to me.

Is there a place online with a wrap-up of whatever happened with him? It's like missing the last few pages of a tepidly interesting novel. It's not very important, but you kind of want to know how it all came out, dammit, even though the knowledge will be of no practical use or satisfaction.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back...

T said...

I miss you!

Anonymous said...

Hey, Aspeth--

If we ask *really, really nicely,* can we get Dustin's take on the Casey fiasco? *grins*

Aspeth said...

@Beth....oh, *shit*, don't discredit the short bus! As I read that, I specifically recalled a spectacular head-first into a vault. I felt it as it happened, and knew my body was catapaulting like an arrow into the vault, rather than using it as a tool to fly. All I can say is that it's just one of many spectacular fuck-ups from that time in life !!!!

@Lucid....I'll totally loan him out. People who can help you fly are truly my raison d'etre.

@Optimist...LOL! Holy crap!!! You're right! My ROI is out of control...What a laugh!

@Christopher King....You must have come across me via Lucid's blog. I have a lot to say about that, but don't know that I have anything new to contribute to the discussion. I've got to get back in key with blogging again before I'm comfortable with saying anything of any worth....

@Lord Plankton....I've been crap about being *anywhere* online lately. But after reading some emails, etc. found that the proprietor of the CazeyHaterz.com website closed registration and purged all members who had not posted 1 or more times since registration. He PM'd everyone through the system to let them know that they needed to make one post or have registration deleted, as it was creating a clog in the arteries, so to speak. Email me if you need any more info.

@Serin is...Will email Dustin for his take.

Ogg the Caveman said...

@ Aspeth:

LOL! Holy crap!!! You're right! My ROI is out of control...What a laugh!

Considering how long it's been since you posted, that sounds like -- dare I say it? -- sweet passive income!

Jake said...

Oh my goodness! Have you heard the latest news that our favorite girls is going to be in Bazaar!!!

You must be so .... annoyed!


Jake said...


Chloe Sevigny Mocks Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears
by Staff

Chloe Sevigny mocks rehabbing stars Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears in a photoshoot for Harper's Bazaar magazine.

The actress plays a "starlet sent to a luxury rehab facility" in the special feature on the "rehab trend" - and she poses with a hat and sunglasses, water bottle and dog, reading about herself in newspaper Troubled Times.

A spokesperson for the magazine tells PageSix, "We satirise our rehab-obsessed society in a consciously irreverent feature with Chloe playing a starlet sent to a luxury rehab facility." (c) WENN

Anonymous said...

Is Casey back?


Anonymous said...

denny po, that site is fake. Just a looser that can't get on with it's life.

T said...

Wherefore art thou?

Schnapps said...

Look, Aspeth, I know you're fucking busy, but are you ever going to update this thing?


NotAnOptimist said...

Hope all is well. Just curious... why Aspeth? Why not Lee? (ok, ok, I can see why not Lee. Or Horton. *snicker*) Er, or Gates? Or Martha? Because I didn't get the impression that you're at all like your namesake...

Anonymous said...

Your blog had such promise. You got hung up on Casey and didn't have the will to continue after he left. What a waste.

Anonymous said...

Aspeth, you tart,
(said in the most endearing manor)

Wherefore art thou missing? I miss your unbridled wit!

Please come out to play?

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